Mark Scoles

Recent reviews

• on When an ambitious archeologist finds an ancient crystal engraved with a hidden message, he funds a secret sea creature who unlocks the message so his brain remembers the secrets of the Atlantis civilisation in the crystal, allowing him to release the Talisman Knights; the so called purveyors of ancient antiques; to release their grip on him.

  Opening moment is strong, but mostly makes me want to watch Indiana Jones. Try and add a wrinkle to your opening that makes this feel more distinct. Seconding Jeremy's he must comment, will give some drive to the second half…

• on When two friends wake up to a sunless morning, they learn their roommate hasn’t come home from last night. After a failure to contact him or anyone else, they venture outside in an attempt to understand this anomaly.

  Such a cool premise, but with so much going on it makes this quite a hefty logline. When two confused friends wake up to a sunless morning, they must venture outside to find their roommate who never came home and…

• on When a random YouTube sermon triggered guilty conscience in her, a primary school teacher must search for her elderly couple victims to confess her actions.

  Logline is a touch long-winded and I think there are some missed opportunities. I feel like a random youtube sermon doesn't quite have the intrigue of just a regular sermon in a church (assuming it's religious). It's more visually stimulating…

• on After having broken up with her partner, a woman overhears a young couple that is falling apart and attempts to save their relationship.

  Feel like you could really streamline this logline through better structure and just tightening up certain sentences a little bit. When a heartbroken woman overhears a young couple's bitter argument, she must attempt to reconcile their relationship. 17 words as…

• on When the disappearance of his wife falls in the hands of androids, a flawed father must seek answers to the reasoning behind his loss while mistakenly neglecting his daughter in the process

  Can't find a way to edit my comment but actually, an even better logline would be: When androids kidnap his wife, a flawed father must seek answers all while mistakenly neglecting his daughter. Now down to 17 words, which again…

• on When the disappearance of his wife falls in the hands of androids, a flawed father must seek answers to the reasoning behind his loss while mistakenly neglecting his daughter in the process

  Logline is a little longwinded and not quite worded the best. Instead, maybe try: When his wife is kidnapped by androids, a flawed father must seek answers all while neglecting his daughter in the process. You go from 32 words…