Jefferson McClure

Penpusher · 1 points

299 points to Logliner

on Gerald Tinkers rise to track and football stardom as told through his mothers? eyes, culminates with a gold medal in the ?72 Munich Olympics.

I don't think we need the name (unless it's someone famous), and I don't know how "football" fits in with the Olympic dream. Also, why tell the story from the mother's perspective if she's not an active part of the…
on Miami Air ramp-service personal engage in the systematic looting of airport luggage and merchandize, which leads to the death of eight ?Ramp Rats? and the arrest of sixty-three other luggage handlers and airport personnel.

I don't think we need the "Miami Air" or "Ramp-Rats" in the logline. Also, as mentioned by other commenters, there doesn't seem to be a protagonist that is actively involved in the story. Maybe something like "When valuables start disappearing…