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When a devoted woman suspects infidelity in her husband and then realizes afterwards that she made a mistake, she must reverse a drastic decision she took to hurt him or their children die.
A few word changes will cut this down as well. Using "wife" you can cut out "in her husband." I think Kriss is onto something by moving the parts around, too.
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A psychic who sees true love by touch must overcome her fear of being unlovable if she?s to find a soulmate of her own.
Thanks!
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A psychic who sees true love by touch must overcome her fear of being unlovable if she?s to find her own true love.
Yeah, hadn't noticed that, thanks! Usually that would be the sort of thing I would see. :-)
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By simply touching someone, Lissa can tell who their true love is, but it doesn't work on her. As she rises in popularity, Skeptic Magazine sends out their top reporter, Tom, a naturally handsome man, for the story. He soon discovers her to be much more interesting than her story. But after a lifetime of heartbreak, Lissa wants nothing to do with him. Right?
It's not meant to be a rom-com. We'll see what I can do about the irony.
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With a touch, Lissa can see one's true love, just never her own. When Skeptic Magazine sends their top reporter to interview her, will she dare to fall in love again?
He is her true love, so maybe it's too revealing. She's had almost a lifetime of seeing the faces of other women every time she touched the men she loved, or was at least attracted to. So, when the reporter…
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With a touch, Lissa can see one's true love, just never her own. When Skeptic Magazine sends their top reporter to interview her, will she dare to fall in love again?
Thanks! I can see how I might've left out too much. It's hard to be concise and include everything! I'll be working on it!
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With a touch, Lissa can see one's true love, just never her own. When Skeptic Magazine sends their top reporter to interview her, will she dare to fall in love again?
Her flaw is that she can't see her own true love. Because she needs to touch you to do a reading, she can't do herself. Thanks though! I'll work on it!
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When a young man with a tendency to say the wrong thing at the worst moment discovers an alternate universe where everyone says exactly what they mean, he finally feels like he can fit in, but as he loses track of which reality is which, he risks losing his job, his friends and the girl he has been trying so hard to win over.
I would probably say "awkward" rather than "big mouth," which leaves a sour taste in my mind. I feel like I could rewrite it for you, but that's not the point. However, that does mean that I can see what…
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An overwhelmed single-father, hesitantly adopts the 10-year-old daughter of a former love who is about to die, only to learn the young girl is actually his.
I like this one much better than the first. I can clearly see the protagonist, and the struggle and conflict that he has to go through to accept adopting the 10-year-old before finding out that she is actually his.