emvshah

Logliner · 475 points

55 points to Samurai

9 loglines
12 reviews

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Logliner

Loglines

In an effort to track down his estranged girlfriend and reconnect with her, a recovering alcoholic embarks on a cross-country journey that turns out to be poignant discovery into his past.

August 13, 2021
In a bid to search for her missing brother in Nepal, a Cambodian socialite poses as a doctor in a local earthquake relief mission. And as the location of his last known location draws closer, she comes to learns the preciousness of human relationships but must also come to terms with the possibility of her brother’s death.

February 18, 2020
During a cross-country journey to track his missing girlfriend Nisha, Dhondup finds himself reluctantly involved in the lives of people who all seem to have a connection to her in some way.

December 30, 2019
An arrogant tattoo artist sets off on a cross country journey to track his missing girlfriend only to unravel memories he is refusing to acknowledge.

December 17, 2019
Amidst a country-wide epidemic where people are gradually fading away from existence, a downbeat poet struggles to compose an ode to save his fading father, but must deal with his overbearing mother who is hell bent on sending him abroad.

June 9, 2017
While the country is being swept by an epidemic where the people are gradually fading away from existence, a struggling poet tries to compose an ode to his amnesic father, but must deal with his overbearing mother who is hell bent on sending him abroad to escape from this fate.

June 7, 2017
I did jot know where to post this question so I wrote it here. My question was: Is writing a logline same for a short film, feature film and Documentary. Very rudimentary question but I was curious.

August 19, 2016
When he receives his visa to the US, a struggling poet returns back home to resolve issues with his overbearing mother and confront the death of his terminally ill sister before departing his country.

August 18, 2016
A struggling poet returns home to care for his terminally ill sister but conflicts arise again with his overbearing and domineering mother.

August 17, 2016

Recent reviews

on In France, an extremely gifted, aging, and seriously ill writer, supported by a female student, starts his last desperate battle against the critics and his best friend to achieve the global recognition.

When I read aging, I assume the writer is in his mid to late 70s. I think it would be better to mention the age since you also go on to state the writer is seriously ill. Why is (whatever…
on In a time when white children born to Japanese mothers were put to death, one boy survives. Across time, the boy becomes the protector of the weak.

"Across time, the boy grows into a warrior..." still sounds vague. Maybe you could give the boy a definite goal to accomplish, say avenging his siblings perhaps? Or maybe, this one boy has a younger siblings, and the authorities are…
on In an effort to track down his estranged girlfriend and reconnect with her, a recovering alcoholic embarks on a cross-country journey that turns out to be poignant discovery into his past.

This is the third version of my logline. Here are the first and the second versions: 1. An arrogant tattoo artist sets off on a cross country journey to track his missing girlfriend only to unravel memories he is refusing…
on A college student’s life changed when he gets taken in the wing of a former street racer who comes out of retirement to stop a drug lord.

The way your logline is framed, the main protagonist, the college student, is passive and looks like the former street racer is the active character. Like R.C asks...how hoes the student's life change?
on With no justice for the recent death of a gay dancer, a frustrated editor attends men’s self-help groups in a conservative town to prepare himself against them.

Why does the death of a gay dancer really get to this editor's head? Sounds like he has some issues to deal with himself. If so, I think we need to make it clear in the logline. Has he joined…
on In a time when white children born to Japanese mothers were put to death, one boy survives. Across time, the boy becomes the protector of the weak.

You logline has no definite goal or a clear story. There are numerous questions that come to mind when I read it. ..."Across time, the boy becomes a protector of the weal...", you mean to say the boy grows up…
on In a bid to search for her missing brother in Nepal, a Cambodian socialite poses as a doctor in a local earthquake relief mission. And as the location of his last known location draws closer, she comes to learns the preciousness of human relationships but must also come to terms with the possibility of her brother’s death.

thank you.! back to the board!
on After a timid young adult is saved from armed assailants by a beautiful vampire, he is manipulated and trained by her coven to track down his elusive uncle: the de facto leader of the vampire hunters.

I find that your character goals and motivations are not properly defined. - Between the nephew and the vampire, who is the main protagonist? - Does the nephew know that his uncle was the one who sent the assassins? -…
on Amidst a country-wide epidemic where people are gradually fading away from existence, a downbeat poet struggles to compose an ode to save his fading father, but must deal with his overbearing mother who is hell bent on sending him abroad.

Thank you DK for taking the time to comment. I have already completed the first draft of my short story, and to be honest, the story is everything that you mentioned. Your feedback goes a long way to concentrate on?the…
on When he receives his visa to the US, a struggling poet returns back home to resolve issues with his overbearing mother and confront the death of his terminally ill sister before departing his country.

A struggling poet returns back home to resolve issues with his overbearing mother and confront the inevitable death of his terminally ill sister before departing his country. How is this?
on An intelligent but unsuccessful father must save his kids from terrorist who think that he is a Superhero.

How are they being attacked by the terrorist?
on A persistent class president investigates the disappearances of multiple female students when she discovers the truth behind an admired teacher who, since the death of his family, has kept the students captive, she manipulates him into a trap that leads her to the missing students.

Much better.