EmpireThinking

Recent reviews

• on A promising young writer finds her perfect story in a guy who struggles to find some sense in his own life, she will have to decide who gets the happy ending: her career or herself.

  "A budding journalist intern finds her breakout story in a lonely yet compassionate waiter but when she develops real feelings for him, she?ll have to choose between the story of a lifetime or their budding romance.? I thought of this…

• on A promising young writer finds her perfect story in a guy who struggles to find some sense in his own life, she will have to decide who gets the happy ending: her career or herself.

  No, he knows about the article! They met rather coincidentally and she follows him for a while trying to convince him to help her. He eventually say yes. Of course he struggled because he didn't want to make his life…

• on A promising young writer finds her perfect story in a guy who struggles to find some sense in his own life, she will have to decide who gets the happy ending: her career or herself.

  The writing thing is secondary! It works has the obstacle for the relationship. It is not a dirty secret that he has, it's about his depression and suicide attempts, the thing is: She has to choose between getting the job…

• on A promising young writer finds her perfect story in a guy who struggles to find some sense in his own life, she will have to decide who gets the happy ending: her career or herself.

  Thanks Claude that may have been the most helping answer yet! You got what I wanted with the story. 1. Get the job, lose the guy 2. Lose the job, get the guy I wasn't looking for story ideas like…

• on A promising young writer finds her perfect story in a guy who struggles to find some sense in his own life, she will have to decide who gets the happy ending: her career or herself.

  This is what I've come up with; A promising young journalist finds her breakout story in a bright yet fragile guy but when she starts developing feelings for him she is forced by a co-worker to choose between a relationship…

• on A promising young writer finds her perfect story in a guy who struggles to find some sense in his own life, she will have to decide who gets the happy ending: her career or herself.

  Because there's this intern guy who also wants the job and he discovers the relationship between them and blackmails her. She can't be involved with her sources, it's unethical. So if she decides to publish the story in the journal…

• on A promising young writer finds her perfect story in a guy who struggles to find some sense in his own life, she will have to decide who gets the happy ending: her career or herself.

  It's a non-fiction story. In the start, yes, her objective goal is to earn that job, which will be clear in the beginning of the script, but as we move further she will want another goal (to be with the…

• on A promising young writer finds her perfect story in a guy who struggles to find some sense in his own life, she will have to decide who gets the happy ending: her career or herself.

  Thank you Claude! A promising young writer finds her breakout story in a bright yet fragile guy but when the success of her career implies exposing his past troubles, threatening the happiness of her dazzling love, she must make the…

• on A promising young writer finds her perfect story in a guy who struggles to find some sense in his own life, she will have to decide who gets the happy ending: her career or herself.

  What about this one? A promising young writer finds her perfect story in a guy who struggles to find some sense in his own life, she will have to decide which ending happens: the job she always wanted or the…

• on A promising young writer finds her perfect story in a guy who struggles to find some sense in his own life, she will have to decide who gets the happy ending: her career or herself.

  Hmm point well made. I wanted to say that if she releases the story she will lose the guy (maybe just romantically, maybe he'll be a bit more dramatic). Thanks!

• on Six perfect strangers assemble to pull off the perfect crime, but when their simple robbery explodes into bloody ambush, the ruthless killers must work out which one amongst them is a police informer.

  Hey there! I think I get your idea, but maybe it's a little fragmented. 1. The six strangers are ruthless killers. 2. Somehow they come together to pull of a perfect crime. 3. While they're doing a simple robbery they…

• on When a software engineer discovers a secret network that monitors and manipulates the general public, he has no choice but to hack and control the assassin sent to kill him.

  What I understood from the logline is that he has an assassin after him because he discovered the network. Is that correct? I think dpg is totally right when he says you need to clarify the causal link between the…

• on After being rescued from herself by a mysterious ex-singer, a depressed yet promising young woman must face the adversities of returning the favor without losing herself again along the way.

  I understand what you're saying but I'm not sure how to include it on the logline without making it too extensive or giving too much. He connected to her because he knew how she felt and didn't want her to…

• on A comfortable alien mayor must lead the effort to stop an Earth ship from destroying their sun despite their peaceful reliance on non-mechanical technology.

  Yes, maybe you're right but the comfortable mayor takes me to a lazy guy. Maybe if you switch the order? Like: An alien who is comfortable being a mayor must lead....

• on After being rescued from herself by a mysterious ex-singer, a depressed yet promising young woman must face the adversities of returning the favor without losing herself again along the way.

  Thank you @dgp! I'm new to this website and I haven't worked out how things work around here yet. I thought of this: "After being rescued from herself by a troubled ex-army, a depressed but promising young woman feels drawn…

• on A strikingly beautiful girl of nineteen's powers as a spiritual healer make her the community sweetheart, but she struggles to maintain her sanity as her father forces her into the family business – of mass murder.

  Good logline! Had me interested. The term strikingly beautiful and sweetheart seem a little contradictory for me, maybe something more "naive"?

• on A story about the relationship of a depressed yet promising young woman who is about to jump but is saved by a mysterious ex-singer who was on the verge of jumping himself.

  Completely right! Thank you, already changing it!

• on While out on a date – a young; confident; and carefree girl comes across the most addictive of aromas. She follows it like a drug only to be lead to a dead body. Now her morals are at war with her new found obsession – She's addicted to the smell of death.

  I'm hooked but the "while on a date" part leaves me questioning why is it important to mention, you know? Was it something that happened there? Did it involved her date?

• on A comfortable alien mayor must lead the effort to stop an Earth ship from destroying their sun despite their peaceful reliance on non-mechanical technology.

  Hello Steven, the idea itself is fun (instead of Alien invasion.. human invasion!) but the adjective "comfortable" doesn't really sound well to me. I would probably go with "A nonviolent" but I don't really know your character so that may…