Douglascgilbert

Penpusher · 91 points

209 points to Logliner

1 logline
3 reviews

When a Russian submarine sailed from Murmansk into the Cuban Missile Crisis, with a nuclear torpedo, Vasili Arkhipov, survivor of the K-19 nuclear disaster, battled PTSD and prevented the captain from destroying the civilized world on the most dangerous day of human history.

July 27, 2018

on After a new energy source is used to power an entire city, a young cleaning lady is called to protect the city from supernatural threats called Jinn that are attracted to the energy source. The Jinn take over human bodies and give their hosts supernatural powers.

Nice work. much better. It leaves me with the questions that make me want to hear more.
on After a new energy source is used to power an entire city, a young cleaning lady is called to protect the city from supernatural threats called Jinn that are attracted to the energy source. The Jinn take over human bodies and give their hosts supernatural powers.

Who would call on a cleaning lady to protect a city, and why? Is there something special about her? I want to read this logline from bottom to top. What is the connection between the Jinn and the new energy…
on A mentally & physically abused teen witnesses the murder of his family. Now an Adult, he enacts revenge on the entire family responsible.

How does the mental and physical abuse relate to the murdered family or the murdering family? The concept sounds interesting, but familiar, and a special twist would make it juicy.