dng123

106 points

194 points to Logliner

Loglines

on A trio of drag queens orchestrate a prison break to rescue their transgender roommate after she is wrongly incarcerated in a men’s facility.

It's a pretty good logline, however trans and drag queens aren't the same thing. Perhaps your script isn't meant to be politically correct? But you put it in action. In this case I would imagine it to be more of…
on After saving an mistreated puppy, a young doctor sets out forming new friendships, helping those in need.

I've got the setup: "When a young doctor finds a mistreated puppy" however, everything else is fluff that doesn't mean anything. Who's lives do they save, or what kind anyway, and why should I be interested? What do you actually…
on A young police officer must prevent a bomb exploding aboard a city bus by keeping its speed above 50 mph.

Yeah, that pretty much says it. Haha. I really don't think this screenplay would have ever been sold had it been written another way.