dgard

Penpusher · 56 points

244 points to Logliner

2 loglines
2 reviews

When exiled from his town, a duplicitous man must confront his identity.

August 30, 2018
Upon being marked by a shadow creature with a hunger for humans, a duplicitous man is exiled from his hometown and forced to confront his identity or face losing himself.

August 26, 2018

on Upon being marked by a shadow creature with a hunger for humans, a duplicitous man is exiled from his hometown and forced to confront his identity or face losing himself.

Does this one read better? : After being marked by a ravenous shadow creature, a duplicitous man is exiled from his hometown and with the help of an exotic strange woman, he is forced to confront his identity or face…
on Upon being marked by a shadow creature with a hunger for humans, a duplicitous man is exiled from his hometown and forced to confront his identity or face losing himself.

Any advice for fixing or improving the logline?