DaveStish

51 points

249 points to Logliner

Loglines

on When a cursed camera captures pictures of predestined murders, a cakera collector must unravel mysteries of the occult device to stop her husband’s gruesome fate.

It?s a very solid re-work so major kudos on that. To start, I would flip the two parts of the logline. ?Set the characters and the inciting incident at the beginning (she sees the death through the camera) and then…
on A? newcomer in New York City,? befriends a lovely housewife who’s harboring a dark secret from them.

You have done a great job introducing the cast of characters but what are the stakes? ?Where does the conflict come in? ?I?m assuming it has something to do with the Russian gang leader but why is it important that…