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An inexperienced yet aspiring screenwriter, with an industry record of absolute failure in logline creation must defeat his greatest adversary, himself, and surpass with his last entry the infallible scrutiny of the top tier, professional reviewers of the "Logline.it!" website's as "A million dollars for The Perfect Logline Contest" deadline draws to a close in one minute.
Thank you Hullaballo. Most appreciated. I'm trying to get the hang of this. Loglines are more difficult than I had anticipating. Hopefully, I'll perfect one soon. Absolutely grateful for your broad grin. Smile back at ya!
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A troubled teen is mysteriously abducted and transported to a secluded training facility, where he and a band of juvenile misfits encounter an otherworldly enemy in a struggle for survival.
Try to make the logline as succinct as possible. Eliminate the the word "transported", since an abduction already gives us that he was "taken". Obvious somewhere. For the lead, how about adding a personal trait that makes him stand out,…
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A mentorship between a pragmatic and manipulative businessman and an underprivileged high school genius evolves into a battle of wits as both try to prove their intellectual superiority over the other.
In agreement with Nir Shelter. I'm no expert, but while being here I'm picking up knowledge and from my perspective, what's the goal for their intellectual chess match? What is the fate of them meeting and engaging in that battle…
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An out-world war destines a bio-molecular energy, ineffectual in fusion with any previous life form to Planet Earth, where a benevolent and jubilant father-to-be unwittingly absorbs it and must engage in battle with the implacable beings pursuing the power source for galactic dominion.
Have to add, that everyone's replies are the collective right answer. I'm learning much.
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An out-world war destines a bio-molecular energy, ineffectual in fusion with any previous life form to Planet Earth, where a benevolent and jubilant father-to-be unwittingly absorbs it and must engage in battle with the implacable beings pursuing the power source for galactic dominion.
Back to rewrite. Again, thanks to all. Great insight as always.
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"An ordinary young man, is physiologically transmuted by an unimaginable energy that predates history and is irrevocably forced to become humankind?s sole savior when a diabolical alien race, seeking that power wants to blow up the Earth."
Everyone - I'm reworking the specifics. Let me tweak it and give it a brand new go. All your tips ARE helpful. Truth!
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"An ordinary young man, is physiologically transmuted by an unimaginable energy that predates history and is irrevocably forced to become humankind?s sole savior when a diabolical alien race, seeking that power wants to blow up the Earth."
dpg, I see. Point well taken. I'm gonna work on this. Thank a lot.
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An ordinary young man, is forced to become humankind?s sole savior when a diabolical alien race, wants to blow up the Earth.
Nir Shelter - Once again, I'm profoundly grateful for your sound advice. Darn this seems so easy to do and now I discover how profound a logline creation can be. I'm brainstorming all this and have to get back to…
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An ordinary young man, is forced to become humankind?s sole savior when a diabolical alien race, wants to blow up the Earth.
Greetings CraigDGriffth. Gotcha. I'm refocusing to actually achieve that. Story elements, Check. Thanks a bunch.
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An ordinary young man, is forced to become humankind?s sole savior when a diabolical alien race, wants to blow up the Earth.
FFF, I get you. I just replied to the previous, longer logline. Being new here I posted two loglines for the same purpose, so while I get the hang of the site's mechanics, any modifications to the logline will be…
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"An ordinary young man, is physiologically transmuted by an unimaginable energy that predates history and is irrevocably forced to become humankind?s sole savior when a diabolical alien race, seeking that power wants to blow up the Earth."
Hello everyone. Here's my new modification to the logline. "A young and jubilant father-to-be undergoes an extraordinary out-worldly metamorphosis and must defend Earth from a diabolical alien menace that retaliates with planetary destruction."
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"An ordinary young man, is physiologically transmuted by an unimaginable energy that predates history and is irrevocably forced to become humankind?s sole savior when a diabolical alien race, seeking that power wants to blow up the Earth."
Nir Shelter - I "hear" you all and am sooo glad for your participations. Loglines seem easy from a general standpoint, until you try one. LOL. I'm re-thingking this and will return and see how it goes. I'll reply soon…
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"An ordinary young man, is physiologically transmuted by an unimaginable energy that predates history and is irrevocably forced to become humankind?s sole savior when a diabolical alien race, seeking that power wants to blow up the Earth."
Richiev - I am very grateful for your contribution. It has allowed me to obtain a clearer perspective on this logline goal. Believe me, no hoping. It's working.
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"An ordinary young man, is physiologically transmuted by an unimaginable energy that predates history and is irrevocably forced to become humankind?s sole savior when a diabolical alien race, seeking that power wants to blow up the Earth."
Thank you so much FFF. This is exactly why I posted the logline as I had it. I'm testing how others perceive it so I can obtain such good FFFeedback and improve on this. I'm reading everyone's helpful comments and…
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An amnesiac who wakes up chained to a table in a mysterious room must uncover why sinister doctors are performing grisly operations on him.
I feel you can achieve an interesting viewpoint here. Having an amnesiac as a starting point immediately caught my attention, yet, the rest seems vague. Try to discover a very peculiar goal about his location, augment the antagonistic factor of…
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A young, successful real estate entrepreneur discovers his entire life is controlled by a group of computer programmers.
What you have now caught my attention, but, you're lacking more intrigue, antagonism and the goal. You're on the right track, yet halfway done. Revise it and nail it.
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A FEMALE ALIEN LANDS ON THE PANET IN THE SPACE WHERE ONLY MALES LIVE. THE MALES GET SCARED FROM THE FEMALE BECAUSE THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN ANY. THE FEMALE TRIES TO SOLVE THE HISTORICAL PROBLEM OF THE MALES'S PLANET, SHE WANTS FEMALES BACK THERE.
In writing, using all capital letters implies the writer is "YELLING", so it would be less distracting if you sentence case them. I agree with the former posts, what you've stated is not a logline. It needs to be trimmed,…
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A boy who spent all his life believing he was weak, suddenly discovers that there is something, something special about himself. He never understood until he fell 1200 feet off a mountain during a trek; and survived without a scratch.
You've repeated the word "Something", so correct that. About the logline itself, you've better go back and improve on it. It reads as an event, and it doesn't really reveal the goal and the conflict he must face/overcome. May this…
