Daniel McCullough

Recent reviews

• on While cleaning out his attic, Michael Street stumbles across a journal left by his dying dad years earlier. As far back as Michael can remember his dad was tormented by bad dreams. Michael will soon discover that those bad dreams are not that far behind.

  DPG is right - the guy's profession doesn't matter for the logline. It would only matter if it made a difference in the outline of the plot, and it doesn't. I think the second one you have there is stronger.…

• on A soldier in a fire fight in Vietnam is hit by a rocket propelled grenade and with unimaginable wounds is placed in a deep sleep but awakens to being in love and falling in love without opening an eye.

  The problem with "unimaginable" is it doesn't describe the wounds at all. And Vietnam - is this set in the 70s or 60s? I also don't think him being in an induced coma matters here. What matters is STORY. You…

• on A troubled man who was kept in a zombie like state for a number of years begins to regain his independance, but as he discovers, freedom is more than just his state of mind.

  Right now it's too vague. For example, what was keeping him in a zombielike state? Also, 'stuff like "number of years" don't matter - they're a waste of priceless logline real estate.

• on When viciously harassed during an online game, reticent Kara befriends a nice-guy who comes to her defence, but as she begins to suspect his dark motives Kara must expose him before the game becomes fatal.

  The basic premise sounds like it could be interesting, but you've bogged it down with adjectives and adverbs that don't help here. The above reply you got was excellent but you need to concentrate on what she does. Also, where…