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Inspired by actual events, a Chicago man from a tough Chicago neighbor joins the Armed Forces, landing on D-Day +5, surviving the savagery of the Battle of Bastogne and guarding one of the Nazi’s Luftwaffe Commander, Herman Goering at Nuremburg.
What's the character's goal?
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A suspended detective confronts his long-buried past investigating an unsolved murder that forces him to face himself, to his end or a cathartic answer for the murder girl and himself.
He is suspended at the beginning after the opening scene, which shows us something about?his character. During his boredom of the suspension, he is reviewing the old case and realizes something he didn't think of before...and that's what pushes the…
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In the chaotic, deadly days after Pearl Harbor, the War Dept. seeks technically skilled and experienced divers to help with recovery of ships and personnel. Two Chief Divers are called forth, both with intimate knowledge of their ship and crew, the USS Arizona.
Still need a conflict...a goal...something. Given the previous thought that most of the people who would connect to the event naturally, what are you providing in this story to hook a new generation?
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An aged USS Arizona survivor returns to Pearl Harbor one last time to reconcile his past and beg forgiveness for his two brothers who refused to stay at his apartment and died onboard the doomed ship at Pearl Harbor.
If his brothers refused, I don't understand the forgiveness part. Maybe his brothers wanted to stay at his place, and he turned them down for whatever reason...and they had to stay on the ship.
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Two ex-Navy divers fight both dread and fear as they are commissioned by the War Dept. to dive on the ship they served on, the USS Arizona.
I'm assuming this is in the past. The diver/s in the present day would be at an advanced age and probably wouldn't be diving. ?Is there a specific issue they are dealing with during the dive? Maybe they could be…
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Bruce Ismay was ontop of the world until he took one single step off the doomed RMS Titanic and fought the rest of his life to save its memory and his legacy
I get it. But I think it needs a specific conflict with a time constraint.
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When a Goth Detective is tasked with solving a murder at a very optimistic circus, he must solve the case to be able to escape the happiness.
I like this. It's obvious the goal is to solve the case. A lot of potential plot twists and character development in this...in my opinion. You will also need an antagonist who's trying to hinder the investigation somehow.
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When a Goth Detective is tasked with solving a murder at a very optimistic circus, he must solve the case to be able to escape the happiness.
I'm thinking maybe you don't need the word "optimistic." ?It sounds like you are trying to contrast a "goth" mentality with a cheerful one. I think the audience will know that circus people are overly happy while performing...but, you could…
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When a Goth Detective is tasked with solving a murder at a very optimistic circus, he must solve the case to be able to escape the happiness.
What do you mean by an optimistic circus?
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In the dark days following World War II, two enterprising brothers are torn apart by dark, sinister forces and made bitter enemies as they emerge from the wreckage of their PBM in the Bermuda Triangle.
I probably wouldn't use the word "dark" twice.
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When several U.S. Army soldiers mysteriously die during training, a young soldier learns that his supervisor is responsible for the deaths and must learn how to prevent future deaths and deal with his supervisor?s retaliation before he becomes the next casualty.
Revision 1 When several U.S. Army soldiers mysteriously die during training, a young soldier learns who is responsible and must fight to expose corruption before he becomes the next casualty.
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When several soldiers mysteriously die during training, a young soldier learns that his supervisor is responsible for the deaths and must fight to prevent future deaths.
Great comments. Very helpful. Thank you. Originally, it was his best friend who was killed...at least one of the people who were killed. ?I wasn't sure how much should go into the logline. I will revise and repost. I'm new…
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When an alcoholic son discovers his father gets occasionally possessed by a harmful evil spirit, he must protect his family from danger that threatens them and then find a way to stop it for good.
I suggest adding a conflict which makes it difficult for the son to kick the alcohol habit.
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250 Years into the future, the US and others have shied more and more from democracy. A Young Man working for NASA is chosen to be part of a team mission to explore a new planet found far away that could potentially be a new home for humans, away from corrupt governments and war. The discoveries he and his team make will change them forever.
What obstacles are they facing? Is it the travel? Is it what they find when they get there?
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Short Film: An old black man living in a quiet retirement home finds a record player than, when used, makes the listener(s) young again..
I like the idea...it sounds like a similar concept to "Hot Tub Time Machine." Does the conflict come when they are young? Do they discover something about their past? Do they just become young in the present time...or do they…
