awesomemovies123

78 points

222 points to Logliner

Loglines

on When a sentient video game character falls in love with the real-life player, she must get rid of the other characters to gain the player’s affections, even if that means rewriting the game script.

I believe that it's a little ambiguous as to whether the sentient video game character is an avatar or NPC. Also, I believe that the conflict isn't well defined, and I'm not sure why she needs to get rid of…
on Trying to finally get a social life, a shy introvert struggles to fit in with his cousin’s crass friends on the road to a music festival.

This is a good spark to a story, but I believe that it needs more conflict and stakes. A shy introvert can be a relatable character, but you need to establish him/her as someone who enjoys music, or sees a…
on When Marcus Rosen is attacked by a unknown assailant, he awakens a hidden power that he eventually must use to stop evil from destroying humanity.

This is a good start of an idea for a log line, but I believe that it's too vague to draw in readers. I'm also confused on what the "evil" is. I'd like to know what the hidden power is,…