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When a local library begins shredding it’s books due to the popularity of e-readers, a limited edition copy of Macbeth must lead his Shakespearean archive to safety at the National Archive before they’re shredded too.
Great point dpg. Thank you.
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When a local library begins shredding it’s books due to the popularity of e-readers, a limited edition copy of Macbeth must lead his Shakespearean archive to safety at the National Archive before they’re shredded too.
Thanks Nir, 100% agree the wording doesn't really work, it's clumsy and too long. dpg hit the nail on the head with his version of the logline. Just wanted to road test the concept in itself.
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When a local library begins shredding it’s books due to the popularity of e-readers, a limited edition copy of Macbeth must lead his Shakespearean archive to safety at the National Archive before they’re shredded too.
Thanks for your feedback dpg, your version of the logline is shorter and more efficient.?The idea was indeed to have each play reflect the characteristics of their titles.
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When a young mother encounters a random woman in a crowd, she is mysteriously filled with an unceasing desire to kill her, and must do so before the other woman kills her first.
I agree with Nir. Right now, we have no context and I get the feeling the logline is?a single moment in an entire movie. I don't see a story that will take 90 to 120 mins to tell. ??I think…
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In a futuristic Utopian city, built up in the sky, no form of institution like religion, nationality, marriage exists. It is strictly illegal for any couple to stay together for more than 3 months. A young couple almost end of their 3 months tenure found it impossible to part away and decided to flee down back to the old earth, a place only existed in their history books and which nobody has traveled from the city for last two centuries.
★ Accepted
Your logline is really long. Loglines?usually have a 25 to 30 word limit. Yours is 80 but most of the elements are there. You have a futuristic/alternate universe situation which you establish clearly. The main characters are the couple. A…
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An entrepreneurial high schooler begins selling sex toys to neighborhood parents to raise money for a car but when his kid sister is diagnosed with cancer, he turns it into a fundraising campaign – with an increasing number of his classmates – to pay for her treatments.
I agree with Nir.?For the story to?work in our current time it would have to be on the internet. As Nir said, sex toys are not perishables.?People don't need to buy them all the time. To get the turnover needed…
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When an insecure screenwriter writing a screenplay about Al Capone is captured by Capone himself, he must escape the gangster’s clutches before he is tortured into writing a screenplay he hates and shot in the head.
It's a bit long, just want to see if I'm getting the elements right. I see this as a Coen brothers style black comedy.
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When a naive network engineer is suddenly disconnected from global mind-meld he must find a way to reconnect before government operatives hunt him down or sickness due to disconnection kills him.
Thanks for the feedback guys, the logline structure works but the elements are way too vague. Will try again at another date. Cheers.
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When a womanizing porn-star’s penis falls off due to a spell cast on him by his possessive porn-star wife he must undo the spell before the biggest shoot of his career and save his relationship.
Thank you for the feedback guys, gives me a lot to think about. In terms of outer?journeys?is undoing the spell not strong enough an outer goal? This?is too vague?
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When Jesus rises with a zombie army in tow, an atheist Mossad agent must take Jesus and his army out before it infects the rest of the earth. (For #Meetup)
Thanks for the positive feedback! :-)