AbbyAline

0 points

1 points to Penpusher

on Evan was once heralded as a front page success story for his popular smartphone game, ?Cat Pipe?. But ten years later, he finds himself living in unemployed obscurity with his slacker best friend and ?artist? in residence, Andy. What goes up must come down. Way down.

Thank you for the feedback! I will post a new version with corrections. This is for a TV comedy series, and each episode is a self-contained story arc. Should I pitch the pilot's plot in the logline? I've found conflicting…
on A group of city guys must transform and go undercover to hunt down the murderer of their transgender friend.

I think the logline itself is fine, but I believe 'transgendered' is appropriate for this phrasing. It sounds unnatural to me as a gay lady to leave out the 'd'. I think you may want to tip your hand a…
on A group of high school students are transported to a castle when a promise is broken with a agent from hell. The Students must find a way out while defending themselves against many strange and deadly creatures.

I agree with the comment above. I would also add that 'transported' seems like a strange word choice to me. Transported by what? A bus? I assume they are transported magically, and if that's the case I don't think it…