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When a young man is tormented by the spirit of his dead father telling him his mother will die because of him, he tries to find out more about his death.
Agreed with DPG and Mike. I'll add that "...young man..." is perfectly generic and lacks the detail a protagonist's description needs. It would be better to describe him through his flaw and profession instead.
Agreed with DPG and Mike.
I’ll add that “…young man…” is perfectly generic and lacks the detail a protagonist’s description needs. It would be better to describe him through his flaw and profession instead.
See lessA driver intent on picking up and murdering a hitch-hiker picks up a hitch-hiker intent on murdering a driver.
Yep. Nailed it. No need for a why, who they are, inciting incident. You have told the story which is exactly what a logline is supposed to do.
Yep. Nailed it.
No need for a why, who they are, inciting incident. You have told the story which is exactly what a logline is supposed to do.
See lessA security expert is sent in undercover to examine a corporate prison?s security flaws and instead discovers massive corruption within the staff which leads to a powerful prisoner who is blackmailing the warden. [Some background information for those not in the U.S. Most prisons in the U.S. are owned and operated by publicly traded corporations. They have government contracts to run the prisons and are insanely profitable.]
>>>discovers massive corruption within the staffAnd then what happens?? What does the protagonist DO about what he has discovered?Write an explosive expose for "Mother Jones"?? And then expand it into an award winning, best-selling book?Wait, that's already been done.? By Shane Bauer who weRead more
>>>discovers massive corruption within the staff
And then what happens?? What does the protagonist DO about what he has discovered?
Write an explosive expose for “Mother Jones”?? And then expand it into an award winning, best-selling book?
Wait, that’s already been done.? By Shane Bauer who went undercover for four months as a guard in a private prison, wrote about his experience in “Mother Jones” and expanded it into? recently published , critically acclaimed book, “American Prison: A Reporter’s Undercover Journey into the Business of Punishment”.
Alas, this premise seems to have been somewhat scooped by a competing narrative in the marketplace.? And it’s based on? inside fact.? I would follow the show business trade papers to see if the book is optioned for a movie.
Just saying.
Also, truth in advertising:? ?Profiting off prisoners is an abominable business model worthy of a dramatic expose? But according to the reputable Sentencing Project which has advocated for prison reform for 3 decades,? as of 2016 private prisons incarcerated? only 8.5% of the total state and federal prison population .? The Obama administration policy was to reduce reliance on private prisons.? Unfortunately, the current regime has reversed that policy, so there is an uptick in the numbers.? Even so, the U.S. has a ways to go before it can be said that most prisons are privately owned, for-profit operations.
Again, just saying.
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