As Richiev pointed out, telling this story from the perspective of the parents is not the norm. Not saying it can’t be done, but it might be really difficult to get the audience on side when their goal is to cure their son’s homosexuality. Admittedly, they have the biggest journey to go on but they have to be likeable within the first 15 mins of the film for the audience to stick with them. If they were faced by social pressures and scared to accept their son as different it could present a nice family drama. I see this as a drama too, currently at least.

Extreme lengths – what do extreme lengths look like on screen? We need more information to help us imagine this story completely. If these parents are torturing their son I really struggle to see how the audience will be on board with them BUT tell it from the son’s perspective and still show how conflicted the parents are and I think it would totally work.

Struggling to see this as a thriller… what makes it thrilling?

Hope this helps.

As Richiev has pointed out, why do we want these people to succeed? You’ve called them self-entitled and they don’t just want to pay for the their daughter’s education – they want her to go to private school… how are you going to make them likeable? Why is the audience going to care?

Inciting incident – currently, the inciting incident is kinda missing. I understand that they want to register their daughter in private school but the reason for this desire needs to to be summed up in the inciting incident. This is a great opportunity to provide the protagonists with a noble motive that the audience can get behind.

Protagonist – I’d consider picking one of the two parents as the lead and suggesting a character arc with a characteristic. Self-entitled to humble works although it needs to be carefully written to make the character likeable, as mentioned previously.

Goal – Currently, although I know why they robbed the bank the logline seems to launch into a secondary story with its own inciting incident (the robbery going wrong). This sets up a goal of not being caught but I struggle to see how they get back round to the initial goal of getting their daughter into private school when they’re on the run…

I would focus on the daughter and the personal element and get rid of the robbery going wrong stuff. It doesn’t mean it can’t be in the story but if you give us a good inciting incident, like the daughter being bullied and taken out of school or something, then the bank robbery makes sense and you can leave it at that.

Hope this helps.