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A young man?s life begins to unravel when he receives? a mysterious text from his dead girlfriend?s cell phone.
What happens next? This is a great inciting incident but we need to know what the character is going to do about it. Can you give us some more information about this guy? "A young man" is an incredibly broad stroke for our protagonist. If the fact that he's a "young" man has no bearing on the storyRead more
What happens next? This is a great inciting incident but we need to know what the character is going to do about it.
Can you give us some more information about this guy? “A young man” is an incredibly broad stroke for our protagonist. If the fact that he’s a “young” man has no bearing on the story then consider giving us something else and make it relevant to the story you’re telling. In my head this story doesn’t change if this guy is 20 or 50. Also give us a characteristic. Something that will give us a clue either to the character’s arc or how he’ll deal with his situation.
Hope this helps.
See lessFiesty female London detective has a veteran New York cop foisted on her while she struggles to catch a serial killer with some very nasty habits before he strikes again in his search for a worth mate – or his attention turns to her.
Great comments guys thank you.? Now should I try again here so you can see it, or write a new logline?? NicolaCairnX
Great comments guys thank you.? Now should I try again here so you can see it, or write a new logline?? NicolaCairnX
See lessAfter a king dies a mysterious death, the king’s seductive influential adviser calls the impressionable son to the throne to assume control, unaware that he is secretly investigating his father’s death to make sure he isn’t next to risk the fall of the kingdom.
You switch PoV in your logline.It begins from the adviser point of view, then switches to the young prince's view.A logline should be told from one point of view, and that is the PoV of the lead characterWhich brings us to the next important question...Who is the lead character? The kid or the advisRead more
You switch PoV in your logline.
It begins from the adviser point of view, then switches to the young prince’s view.
A logline should be told from one point of view, and that is the PoV of the lead character
Which brings us to the next important question…
Who is the lead character? The kid or the adviser.
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