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When her mother is brutally murdered, a family woman must find out who her mother was, in order to uncover what happened; but when a cult from her mother’s secret past starts to infiltrate her life , she must Mary and her family must escape indoctrination or risk becoming victims themselves.
What is the backstory here? How far back was the "secret past?" How old was her mother when she left the cult? Did she have her daughter while in the cult? Does the daughter have memories from being in the cult? I am asking because I don't see why the cult would kill the mother 30 years later or morRead more
What is the backstory here? How far back was the “secret past?” How old was her mother when she left the cult? Did she have her daughter while in the cult? Does the daughter have memories from being in the cult?
I am asking because I don’t see why the cult would kill the mother 30 years later or more, by the time she has become a grandmother. Why the wait?
The logline is very long as it is. I suggest:
“When her mother is brutally murdered, a religious single mum must find the killers, to save her own daughter from sacrifice by an ancient cult.”
I obviously took some liberties with character traits and details, but we need to see some specifics, so swap them for whatever works for you.
I put “single mother” instead of “family woman,” because it makes her position even worse, being all alone against the enemy. If you have a plan for her husband to help or impede her, ignore the suggestion.
See lessWhen a bullied classmate turns up drowned, meek hall monitor must team up with their high school tormentor in order to catch the culprit.
I think the main thing missing from this is the relationship between the dead bullied school kid and the hall monitor, who is probably also a bullied school kid.? If you make them "best friends" as another comment suggests, or brothers maybe, then there's a reason for this hall monitor to risk his sRead more
I think the main thing missing from this is the relationship between the dead bullied school kid and the hall monitor, who is probably also a bullied school kid.? If you make them “best friends” as another comment suggests, or brothers maybe, then there’s a reason for this hall monitor to risk his scrawny neck to put a stop to this!
See less(revised) When her mother is brutally murdered, a family woman must find out who her mother was, in order to uncover what happened; but when a cult from her mother?s secret past starts to infiltrate her life , she must save her family and herself from the cults? grip or risk becoming victims themselves.
Seems better... but I'm wondering if this can be simplified to just jump to the cult. After learning of a secret cult's responsibility for her mother's brutal murder, a woman must now save herself and her family from being their next victims. I think that gets to the interesting part more directly aRead more
Seems better… but I’m wondering if this can be simplified to just jump to the cult.
After learning of a secret cult’s responsibility for her mother’s brutal murder, a woman must now save herself and her family from being their next victims.
I think that gets to the interesting part more directly and still remains true to the story, no?? I don’t think it’s important to make explicit how the cult operates.? I do like the mother “investigating the mother’s secret past”, but I don’t think that’s part of the hook for this movie.
See less