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  1. Posted: February 23, 2020In: Thriller

    A? newcomer in New York City,? befriends a lovely housewife who’s harboring a dark secret from them.

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on February 24, 2020 at 10:59 am

    The criminals pale in comparison to the aliens, so best to only describe the aliens in the logline. The criminals may play out in the script, but they're not adding enough value to warrant being described in the logline. Why two main characters? Unless you have an odd couple buddy story, it would beRead more

    The criminals pale in comparison to the aliens, so best to only describe the aliens in the logline. The criminals may play out in the script, but they’re not adding enough value to warrant being described in the logline.

    Why two main characters? Unless you have an odd couple buddy story, it would be better to specify one main character.

    Also, ss being led by a Russian gang leader a bad thing? If so, it doesn’t come across as such in the logline. What about the Russian gang leader makes her a problem?

    Lastly, how is the gang leader’s sex relevant?
    Whether female or male, the Russian gangster character will still fulfill the same role (the role is unclear in the logline, but that’s beside the point). Therefore, as every word in a logline counts, and as that description doesn’t inform the story, it should be cut out or changed.

     

     

     

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  2. Posted: February 21, 2020In: Thriller

    When an overprotected teenager? falls in love with an older rock-climber with trust problems, she convinces him to help her climb the dangerous “Watcher Crack” – but halfway up the wall they witness a murder and find themselves the target of a homicidal maniac desperate to cover his tracks.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 22, 2020 at 11:15 pm

    Freewill:Re: A naive teen and her more-experienced partner witness a murder half-way through a remote rock-climb, and find themselves the target of the killer trying to cover his tracksI have no particular problem with this version in terms of the issue of unity and singularity of plot.I do have a qRead more

    Freewill:

    Re: A naive teen and her more-experienced partner witness a murder half-way through a remote rock-climb, and find themselves the target of the killer trying to cover his tracks

    I have no particular problem with this version in terms of the issue of unity and singularity of plot.

    I do have a question about the logline seeming to cast dual protagonists.? Who owns the story?? Who is your point of view character?? Who has the strongest arc?? Is the plot really about the relationship between the teen and the experienced climber?? Or…?

    (FWIW: I favor framing the logline with the teen as the protagonist, the pov character, because then the film is more marketable: it can be promoted targeting the teenage/young adult demographic — the most desired and lucrative group.)

    I am aware of but haven’t (yet) seen “The River Wild”.? Reading the plot summary at IMDB, it seems that Meryl Streep’s character is the protagonist because she’s the experienced guide, the one with the skill and knowledge to steer the raft.? And I’m guessing she’s the point of view character.

    That is my provisional answer.? I’ve added it to my viewing queue.?? As is my practice, after I viewing a picture, I? will write my version of a logline? for it.

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  3. Posted: February 20, 2020In: Thriller

    An airline crew smuggling a $2 million diamond on board begins to get murdered one by one. [Title: Fight or Flight}

    RedRoad Logliner
    Added an answer on February 22, 2020 at 9:18 pm

    This could? be a mixed genre crime thriller with horror as the second genre. Something comes on to the plane with the diamonds. Could be a curse, a demon guardian, an alien,etc.

    This could? be a mixed genre crime thriller with horror as the second genre. Something comes on to the plane with the diamonds. Could be a curse, a demon guardian, an alien,etc.

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