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When a mysterious stranger hires an adept journalist in a mind investigation firm, he discovers the shocking truth – his life is but a dream world wrought by his new boss, Satan, and forced to choose between his lover and career.
This logline is confusing. 1: The logline does not tell us who the "He" is. You have a mysterious stranger and an adept journalist, then you say, he, but do not say which 'he' you mean. In order to clarify this you should try writing it more along the lines of: "When he's hired by a mysterious stranRead more
This logline is confusing.
1: The logline does not tell us who the “He” is. You have a mysterious stranger and an adept journalist, then you say, he, but do not say which ‘he’ you mean.
In order to clarify this you should try writing it more along the lines of:
“When he’s hired by a mysterious stranger, an adept journalist working for a mind investigation firm discovers…”
2: The logline does not address the central problem.
a: Problem: He is living in a dream world
b: Solution: Must choose between career and lover?
So the solution of choosing between career and lover doesn’t solve the problem of living in a dream world.
Anyway, hope this helped, the first problem is easily fixed with a little shuffling of words, the second problem is more difficult since I don’t know the full story, I am not sure what the solution is.
See lessWhen an immigrant artist’s Matryoshkas get hijacked as Russian espionage, she must risk her own life and destroy a successful business in order to protect her adopted homeland.
I really like this Logline, makes me wanna see the movie!!!
I really like this Logline, makes me wanna see the movie!!!
See lessWhen the wife of a cheating writer is gone, he must get her back
This logline needs just a little more. Perhaps tell us what he must do to get his wife back. (if this is an example logline I don't think I have seen the movie) Does the writer need to change his ways to win back his wife? Does he need to complete some epic task or perhaps prove his love in some speRead more
This logline needs just a little more.
Perhaps tell us what he must do to get his wife back. (if this is an example logline I don’t think I have seen the movie)
Does the writer need to change his ways to win back his wife? Does he need to complete some epic task or perhaps prove his love in some specific way?
Also, you should personalize the beginning of this logline.
“When his wife leaves him, a cheating writer must, (Do this thing) in order to win her back”
Hope this helps
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