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An abused-at-home teenager finds himself in a school for special people where a wicked over-authoritative nurse suppresses rebellion by slowly turning all teenagers into vegetables.
As far as I'm concerned, I think vegetables means apathetic, ?but it would be so much better if there would be a supernatural flavour. I d like the idea of kids turning into vegetables. Anyway, there must be some kind of goal for the main character.
As far as I’m concerned, I think vegetables means apathetic, ?but it would be so much better if there would be a supernatural flavour. I d like the idea of kids turning into vegetables. Anyway, there must be some kind of goal for the main character.
See lessAn abused-at-home teenagers finds himself in a school for special people and ends up rebelling against an evil authoritative figure to save himself and his friends.
I think there's an interesting story here, but suggest the logline needs to honed to clarify the teenagers ironic predicament.My reading of the situation is? an?abused teenager is?enrolled in a therapy program (which might include schooling)? ostensibly designed?to help him recover from domestic abuRead more
I think there’s an interesting story here, but suggest the logline needs to honed to clarify the teenagers ironic predicament.
My reading of the situation is? an?abused teenager is?enrolled in a therapy program (which might include schooling)? ostensibly designed?to help him recover from domestic abuse. Only to discover that he’s gone from the frying pan to the fire: the man in charge of the?therapy is worse than his old man (and/or woman) at home.? Now he must save himself because he can’t rely on anyone else to come to his rescue.
fwiw
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>>>without any logical explanation to it.That for me is a fundamental problem.? This is where your appeal to "The Terminal" and "The Castaway" falls short to my way of thinking. In those movies, ?we know why the Tom Hanks character is trapped in the airport and on the island. There are logiRead more
>>>without any logical explanation to it.
That for me is a fundamental problem.? This is where your appeal to “The Terminal” and “The Castaway” falls short to my way of thinking. In those movies, ?we know why the Tom Hanks character is trapped in the airport and on the island. There are logical, causal?explanations.
And if you are (finally) going to give them mysterious circumstances and ?a sign, then it needs to be foreshadowed.??They can’t just drop out the sky out of blue, er, the dark,? 1/2 way through the story chronologically ?otherwise it constitutes a deus ex machina? contrivance.? That premonition could be an unusual message that they see on what normally be a traffic sign as they are driving the into San Francisco for the dinner — a plant, a premonition.?
My point is:? supernatural events can’t just come out of nowhere.? Well, they can.? But in?movies ?they shouldn’t. ?The inviolate rule is that they must be set up, foreshadowed, usually ?in the 1st Act.? (And the real 1st Act of your story in terms of the time line is the dinner even though you are interweaving the time line such that the story starts later on the bridge)
fwiw
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