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A young man with a dark past is trying everything to stay sane until the love of his life becomes unfaithful, he turns to the voices inside, can he quiet them or will the voices drive him to kill.
As Richiev said. ?He comes across, as a pathetic, passive victim of circumstances, first of the girl who dumped him, then the voices inside his head. ?The protagonist should be driving the story, but in this case, the story seems to be driving him..
As Richiev said. ?He comes across, as a pathetic, passive victim of circumstances, first of the girl who dumped him, then the voices inside his head. ?The protagonist should be driving the story, but in this case, the story seems to be driving him..
See lessA ?rescued? teenager with an abusive past must rally other students at his new school against a torturous headmistress to save himself and his friends.
What DPG said. The logline lacks clarity and detail, what will be done and how is vital for a logline. In addition I don't think that "?rescued?" is a clear enough description for the main character. It could mean that the boy was abused at home and removed into foster care but depending on the contRead more
What DPG said.
The logline lacks clarity and detail, what will be done and how is vital for a logline.
In addition I don’t think that “?rescued?” is a clear enough description for the main character. It could mean that the boy was abused at home and removed into foster care but depending on the context could mean he was drug addict taken off the streets and put in the care of social workers, or that he was a delinquent taken out of juvenile prison.
Point is the main character description is unclear and doesn’t contribute to the plot.
See lessA writer finds a journal and decides to use its contents for his next novel not knowing it contains hidden plans to murder a future country leader.
It sounds as if the publication is the inciting incident, finding a journal seems almost redundant in the logline. Perhaps best to change the logline to reflect this: After accidentally publishing real assassination plans in his novel, a writer must... As FFF and DPG said, what ever he does thereaftRead more
It sounds as if the publication is the inciting incident, finding a journal seems almost redundant in the logline.
Perhaps best to change the logline to reflect this:
After accidentally publishing real assassination plans in his novel, a writer must…
As FFF and DPG said, what ever he does thereafter will be the plot, so best to specify this in the logline.
See less