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A man seeking love falls for a lady he will marry. When he walks in on his best friend sleeping with her, he then must make a choice to either walk away or get his revenge.
This log line contains extra and unnecessary information. ?The sentence "A man seeking love falls for a lady he will marry." can be replaced by the words 'An engaged man." Simplified "An engaged man discovers his fiancee sleeping with his best friend. " ?Then you set up the choice he has to make aboRead more
This log line contains extra and unnecessary information. ?The sentence “A man seeking love falls for a lady he will marry.” can be replaced by the words ‘An engaged man.”
Simplified “An engaged man discovers his fiancee sleeping with his best friend. ” ?Then you set up the choice he has to make about letting them go or trying to get some kind of revenge on them both.
Since the whole film is him deciding to do something bad to them, it would be good if we had some idea of what that specifically was. ?Sleeping with his best friends girl? ?His Fiancee’s sister?
See lessAfter a failed stint as a professional motorcycle racer, a middle aged man, on the verge of losing everything, takes to the streets and races his way up the street racing ladder.
The latest draft of the logline seems rather bland on account of the stakes being mundane and not personal. If he loses his house he'll be sad but will survive, he'll get a job elsewhere and find a place to rent - no biggi. If however, he has kids or other dependants his actions will impact them andRead more
The latest draft of the logline seems rather bland on account of the stakes being mundane and not personal. If he loses his house he’ll be sad but will survive, he’ll get a job elsewhere and find a place to rent – no biggi. If however, he has kids or other dependants his actions will impact them and consequently?increase the stakes.
Think of Will Smith’s character in The Pursuit of Happiness, if it were not for his boy the film wouldn’t have been as dramatic as it was.
See lessA damaged young man finally finds love only to be betrayed by his best friend which pushes him over the edge. He must regain his sanity or continue hurting others.
Agreed with the above comments. Another problem is that the description of "...continue hurting others?" makes for an unlikable character. He hurts people and will keep on doing so unless he gets his way - why would the audience develop empathy towards him?
Agreed with the above comments.
Another problem is that the description of “…continue hurting others?” makes for an unlikable character. He hurts people and will keep on doing so unless he gets his way – why would the audience develop empathy towards him?
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