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  1. Posted: July 2, 2016In: Thriller

    An attention seeking YouTube prankster shames and bribes a violent scammer resulting in a battle beyond entertainment.

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on July 4, 2016 at 7:35 am

    "When scammed and assaulted by a dodgy tradesman a professional clown prankster launches a pranking revenge and learns that deceit isn?t always funny." From reading this I still don't know his goal. "a pranking revenge" is too vague. So, specifically, what does he do to achieve his goal? For exampleRead more

    “When scammed and assaulted by a dodgy tradesman a professional clown prankster launches a pranking revenge and learns that deceit isn?t always funny.”

    From reading this I still don’t know his goal. “a pranking revenge” is too vague. So, specifically, what does he do to achieve his goal?
    For example, say a character’s goal was to get revenge, as you state. Do they then enlist a group of highly trained soldiers to kill their objective? Do they hatch a plan to frame this person for murder and ruin their life? Or, more comedic, do they design and build a silly obstacle course and record this person going through?
    The inciting incident is also vague. What kind of scam? What kind of assault? Is it sexual assault? Mental? Emotional?
    “?learns that deceit isn?t always funny.” Can be cut completely. It does not describe the major plot of the story.

    Example:?When a sensational YouTube clown is conned into giving giving up his car, he crafts his best joke video yet to embarrass and expose the infamous con artist.?(~28 words)
    Goal: To embarrass con artist.
    Method: Create a prank video.

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  2. Posted: June 26, 2016In: Thriller

    When an assassin?s bartender-girlfriend unknowingly serves a poisoned martini to his boss, he takes her on the run from hired guns to find the true culprit.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on June 27, 2016 at 8:59 pm

    The martini seems a very minor detail (it could be a beer and the plot would be the same).

    The martini seems a very minor detail (it could be a beer and the plot would be the same).

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  3. Posted: June 24, 2016In: Thriller

    When a malfunctioning nuke triggers a landslide and traps a plane crash survivor underground, he must lead panicky rocket scientists back to the nuke before it detonates.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on June 27, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    Good points DPG. To that matter I recall the production designer that designed the bomber in Doctor Strangelove, saying that years after the film's release he met a real life veteran of the air force who specifically told him that he got the interior of the bombers right almost to the finer detail oRead more

    Good points DPG. To that matter I recall the production designer that designed the bomber in Doctor Strangelove, saying that years after the film’s release he met a real life veteran of the air force who specifically told him that he got the interior of the bombers right almost to the finer detail of the analogue code machine. Point is, that despite the interior design of these aircraft being top-secret, through rigorous research, the art department was able to imbue a tremendous amount of realism in the scene which clearly helped make the film as suspenseful and funny as it is.

    Perhaps the logic flaw here is a problem, and best to re locate the MC and scientist inside a nuke silo to get around it.

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