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When his murderous ex-wife shows up, a dismissed detective must help the police force catch her.
Agreed with Dkpough1. I'll add that the motivation for the MC to take action is unclear. Why MUST he do anything after she shows up? What's at stake for him?
Agreed with Dkpough1.
I’ll add that the motivation for the MC to take action is unclear. Why MUST he do anything after she shows up? What’s at stake for him?
See lessAn outcast teenager teams up with his high school bully to take down the spirit of Al Capone, who has possessed a small Indiana town to rebuild his empire.
As the others have said. ?The math just doesn't add up in this logline.
As the others have said. ?The math just doesn’t add up in this logline.
See lessA college student is left to pick up the pieces when his friend and roommate commits suicide, but when it’s discovered that he was hiding a secret past, he begins investigating. only to discover a dark secret about one of his professors that leads him to believe that it wasn’t suicide.
Agreed with DPG and Moses99.Also you use too many vague descriptions; "...pick up the pieces?", "...a secret past?", "...a dark secret?". These mean nothing in a logline, mostly because they could mean anything - a lack of specificity works against a logline, and will likely induce confusion over inRead more
Agreed with DPG and Moses99.
Also you use too many vague descriptions; “…pick up the pieces?”, “…a secret past?”, “…a dark secret?”. These mean nothing in a logline, mostly because they could mean anything – a lack of specificity works against a logline, and will likely induce confusion over intrigue.
Tell the reader what the story is, don’t leave it up to them to invent the story for you as they read. It’s the combination of a specific event and a character’s choice of action to that event that creates drama, not adjectives and certainly not vague ones.
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