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The lives of a fierce punk rock teen girl, a lunatic homeless assassin, and a long dead soldier intertwine in a tale of violence and redemption.
To me, there is no "WHY" they get together, and no goal to achieve. But I do like the concept of intertwining three such different characters - there's lots of opportunity for interpersonal conflict, crossed purposes, double-crosses, misinformation etc.
To me, there is no “WHY” they get together, and no goal to achieve.
But I do like the concept of intertwining three such different characters – there’s lots of opportunity for interpersonal conflict, crossed purposes, double-crosses, misinformation etc.
See lessAfter killing a criminal cop who assaults her, an inner-city teen girl must fight to survive lethal retribution.
Thanks, dpg.
Thanks, dpg.
See lessWhen his older brother is framed for a brutal murder. A 15yr old prodigy with incredible powers & abilities. Will unite with his “retired” criminal genius uncle. To stop a superhuman genius serial killer; who has a vendetta against the city’s elite.
Agreed with Craig, best to define a clear goal and inciting incident in the logline.How does the brother's arrest logically motivate him to fight the serial killer? I would think that if he knows his brother is innocent, he would try and free him or prove his innocence. If that is the ultimate goal,Read more
Agreed with Craig, best to define a clear goal and inciting incident in the logline.
How does the brother’s arrest logically motivate him to fight the serial killer? I would think that if he knows his brother is innocent, he would try and free him or prove his innocence. If that is the ultimate goal, it should be clearly stated as such.
Lastly, I find that good loglines use very little, if at all, adjectives to describe the events and characters. Words such as; brutal, incredible and genius, come across as attempts to heighten the stakes artificially. A good premise will have clearly understood heightened stakes, and require far less linguistic embellishment. I suggest you remove these words and heighten the stakes and motivation, this will also free up some precious logline real-estate.
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