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When an affair leads a recluse yachtsman and cameo actress to discover one another career tramps they team up to fleece the jet set but recluses ex returns to love and revenge as an IRS sting – SuperTramps
Agreed with the above comments. Also this sounds like a great setup for a comedy more so than a thriller.
Agreed with the above comments. Also this sounds like a great setup for a comedy more so than a thriller.
See lessA group of mischievous high school seniors during detention at the library find themselves trapped in with a vengeful librarian and must survive the whole night or die trying.
By the way I would start the logline off with the character's being trapped "When they are trapped in the school library by vengeful librarian, An Honor student, a Geek, a Jock, and an Outcast must put aside their differences and stop the madman before he kills them all"?
By the way I would start the logline off with the character’s being trapped
“When they are trapped in the school library by vengeful librarian, An Honor student, a Geek, a Jock, and an Outcast must put aside their differences and stop the madman before he kills them all”?
See lessWhen a modest, hard-working father discovers his daughter is dying, he approaches his corrupt uncle to help him find money for her treatments.
Agreed with DPG. Also, a good premise will require less adjectives in the logline. It's through the MC's actions that the reader should be able to tell that they are a good guy or gal. What would be better to describe is the MC's character flaw, what is it he has to overcome during the story? LastlyRead more
Agreed with DPG.
Also, a good premise will require less adjectives in the logline. It’s through the MC’s actions that the reader should be able to tell that they are a good guy or gal. What would be better to describe is the MC’s character flaw, what is it he has to overcome during the story?
Lastly, best to describe the inciting incident as an event and sooner for example:
See lessAfter his daughter is diagnosed with terminal cancer a [good description] father must…