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  1. Posted: May 11, 2017In: Thriller

    Video recordings showing murders and political payoff sent to key intelligence agencies lure a retired operative back, quickly he discover corruption, assassinations tied to a government program so he has to find the one who started it as his associates begin dropping, he has to find this man before they kill him or succeed at destroying the foundation of the country.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 11, 2017 at 1:20 am

    As Foxtrot25 said.The ?logline for the genre needs to be specific -- not vague -- about the danger he faces. IOW: it needs to name a specific antagonist or state the specific overarching obstacle that threatens to frustrate and defeat him.

    As Foxtrot25 said.

    The ?logline for the genre needs to be specific — not vague — about the danger he faces. IOW: it needs to name a specific antagonist or state the specific overarching obstacle that threatens to frustrate and defeat him.

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  2. Posted: May 7, 2017In: Thriller

    After his feminist wife comes in possession of a gun that belongs to the mafia , a timid man has to stop and fight the mafia that they are now running from, and save his failing marriage in the process.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on May 9, 2017 at 6:20 pm

    The inciting incident is them witnessing a mafia murder. Why is her wanting to go to the police a problem for the husband? This is the best thing they can do, unless, of course, he is a member of a rival mafia.

    The inciting incident is them witnessing a mafia murder. Why is her wanting to go to the police a problem for the husband? This is the best thing they can do, unless, of course, he is a member of a rival mafia.

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  3. Posted: April 27, 2017In: Thriller

    An introverted student is infatuated with her flamboyant flatmate, but when fatal ?accidents? befall her flatmate?s lovers, she must clean up not only to keep her flatmate out of trouble, but ultimately to save herself.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on April 28, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    Agreed with Foxtrot25 and Richiev. What is it the student wants most of all? Is it to shtup her flatmate, or to save her life? Which of these is her primary goal that drives her throughout the story? Secondly, what specific event starts her off on her journey? In other words, which one of the "...faRead more

    Agreed with Foxtrot25 and Richiev.

    What is it the student wants most of all? Is it to shtup her flatmate, or to save her life? Which of these is her primary goal that drives her throughout the story?

    Secondly, what specific event starts her off on her journey? In other words, which one of the “…fatal accidents…” triggers her to take action and why? This is the inciting incident and needs to be described first.

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