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  1. Posted: August 6, 2017In: Thriller

    When a world renowned psychiatrist dies and goes to Hell, he is given a second chance at life to make amends with the family he ignored, not knowing he is part of a bigger plan for Hell to dominate Earth.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on August 8, 2017 at 1:16 pm

    Agreed with the above. The inciting incident is really his realization that hell is about to take over the world, therefore, his subsequent goal needs to be formed in response to this. What is it he does to stop hell from rising to the surface?

    Agreed with the above.

    The inciting incident is really his realization that hell is about to take over the world, therefore, his subsequent goal needs to be formed in response to this.

    What is it he does to stop hell from rising to the surface?

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  2. Posted: August 1, 2017In: Thriller

    After an elaborate conspiracy conducted to lure him in, a retrenched detective discovers a cult that promises him riches but the cult has more in store for him than what he bargained for. OR A desperate ex-cop joins a cult in order to save his family but the cult kidnaps his daughter for ‘slaughter’. He has to save her even if it means losing his own life.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 4, 2017 at 5:05 am

    A "retrenched detective" -- what does that mean? "...joins a cult in order to save his family..." ?-- save his family from what? And it's not the cult that ?kidnaps his daughter -- it would be the cult leader who orders his followers to kidnap her. ?The logline should clearly ID the antagonist. WhyRead more

    A “retrenched detective” — what does that mean?

    “…joins a cult in order to save his family…” ?– save his family from what?

    And it’s not the cult that ?kidnaps his daughter — it would be the cult leader who orders his followers to kidnap her. ?The logline should clearly ID the antagonist.

    Why does the cult leader want to kill the daughter?

    I don’t understand what the motivation is for either the protagonist getting involved or the antagonist wanting to kill.

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  3. Posted: July 15, 2017In: Thriller

    That psychedelic drug would be developed by the person who cooked it getting to the highest purity range In the planet,in/on each individual will be processed differently and this is what alarms the person because it’d mean the reality on this world that the consumer is expiriencing COULD change.An entity would change it,anentity that uses the connection that occurs when the receptors in the brain receive the substance molecule(which can be related to all psychedelic drugs known to mankind including “the god’s molecule”) as it’s path to communicate with the person(man or woman). thriller/enhancer/ introspective/suspense (don’t think about stealing it or filtering it…this entity will know…I AM THE OWNER).

    Best Answer
    Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on July 18, 2017 at 12:31 am

    Yunsa, Comparing what you wrote to just about all of the other examples on this page should at least set off an alarm that you're doing something really wrong as it pertains to loglines. Most just miss the story beats, you missed the entire drum.

    Yunsa,

    Comparing what you wrote to just about all of the other examples on this page should at least set off an alarm that you’re doing something really wrong as it pertains to loglines. Most just miss the story beats, you missed the entire drum.

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