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when a women recived text from her child passed away ten years ago ,she try to fined him to prove it is not illusion
So if the child hasn?t aged this is a supernatural thriller which makes the logline a little different.
So if the child hasn?t aged this is a supernatural thriller which makes the logline a little different.
See lessWhen her husband is murdered, a headstrong businesswoman must turn to a tortured past and deadly skills to hunt down the killer and save her own life.
Agree with Foxtrot25 and Nir Shelter.? What skill set does "her tortured past"? give her to identify and apprehend the murderer?? And they have offered examples of slipping that information in without bloating the logline.
Agree with Foxtrot25 and Nir Shelter.? What skill set does “her tortured past”? give her to identify and apprehend the murderer?? And they have offered examples of slipping that information in without bloating the logline.
See lessWhen a grieving widow learns her husband took a bullet intended for her, she must survive long enough to discover who wants her dead.
Agreed with Richiev. It took me some time to understand the premise as well (this is telling...) and it would seem that further explanations are needed for the logic to come through - best to make some significant changes to the concept so this isn't the case. The whole taking a bullet and grievingRead more
Agreed with Richiev. It took me some time to understand the premise as well (this is telling…) and it would seem that further explanations are needed for the logic to come through – best to make some significant changes to the concept so this isn’t the case.
The whole taking a bullet and grieving widow aspects are confusing the point. The event that starts her on her journey is the husband’s murder, therefore the logline should start with:
After her husband is murdered…
Then the action she takes is to hunt down the killer, so:
After her husband is murdered, a [good description MC] must hunt down the killer to save her own life.
As it stands now, the MC description is very generic and therefore I don’t know what kind of person she is or what ability she has to survive/catch/figure out who the killer is.
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