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After a shootout results in the death of a rookie, a decorated patrolman is blamed and exiled to the dreaded midnight shift for six months to prove he still belongs on the force. But his chance at redemption slowly unravels when a bitter veteran-once a close ally, begins to suspect the ‘real’ truth behind the rookies murder and threatens to expose it- forcing the patrolman to take desperate measures to salvage his career.
What the logline needs is more clarity and specificity. What is the (inciting) incident that gives the cop a chance to redeem himself? And what is the concrete, specific action he takes to remove the blemish on his record?
What the logline needs is more clarity and specificity. What is the (inciting) incident that gives the cop a chance to redeem himself? And what is the concrete, specific action he takes to remove the blemish on his record?
See lessWhen an eighteen year old boy who yearns for a great adventure is gifted extraordinary powers, he must learn to balance his emotions while fate bodes a reality he is not prepared to face.
What becomes his objective goal after being gifted by these "extraordinary powers". Who/what opposes him?
What becomes his objective goal after being gifted by these “extraordinary powers”. Who/what opposes him?
See lessREVERSAL is when a newly widowed woman enters a retirement village and volunteers for a radical anti-aging trial, the treatment begins to work — splitting the community into rival factions and exposing how far people will go to escape decline.
I think it is a promising premise, but it needs a tighter focus and more specificity. For example, she volunteers for an anti-aging *drug* trial. Also, a logline should begin where the plot begins, to wit, with the inciting incident. What kick starts the plot? When she enters a retirement community?Read more
I think it is a promising premise, but it needs a tighter focus and more specificity.
For example, she volunteers for an anti-aging *drug* trial.
Also, a logline should begin where the plot begins, to wit, with the inciting incident. What kick starts the plot? When she enters a retirement community? I don’t think so. That’s setup, but I suggest it isn’t the inciting incident. The inciting incident is when the drug trial works. Complications ensue.
Also, the logline should state the objective goal the protagonist has a result of the inciting incident. So, what becomes her specific objective goal as a result of the results of taking the anti-aging drug? What is the specific problem/challenge/ complication she faces? Again, be specific,
Hope this helps.
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