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A young man named Angel who is very skilled in combat and lives in a dangerous neighborhood decides to take matter into his own hands for the people he loves most with murder
When a courageous, but macho young man skilled in combat witnesses his hometown decline into a dangerous neighborhood by a self-Indulgent gangster he must find a just heart or risk harming those round him he is trying so hard to protect. theme: retribution leads to harming oneself protagonist's wantRead more
When a courageous, but macho young man skilled in combat
witnesses his hometown decline into a dangerous neighborhood by a self-Indulgent gangster
he must find a just heart or risk harming those round him he is trying so hard to protect.
theme: retribution leads to harming oneself
See lessprotagonist’s want: to protect community
protagonist’s need: inner peace
When they discover the complications of moving in with two romantic partners, a thrill-seeking bartender must decide whether polyamory is for them, or risk losing both of their loves.
Dating in New York, eh? Logline is little long. You can get ride of "When they," right off the bat. Active voice -- "Discovering the complications of living with two romantic partners, a thrill-seeking bartender..." I understand the pronoun usage, but I am curious if it will be absorbed by someone rRead more
Dating in New York, eh? Logline is little long. You can get ride of “When they,” right off the bat. Active voice — “Discovering the complications of living with two romantic partners, a thrill-seeking bartender…” I understand the pronoun usage, but I am curious if it will be absorbed by someone reading it quick or be seen as a grammatical mistake. If you choose to tinker around, you can stil effectively write this without pronoun usage.
See lessA year into sobriety, a former addict struggles with the monotony of her new life, haunted by a demon from her past, as she searches for peace and self-acceptance.
The logline itself is clunky. The 'haunted by the demon from her past' does not fit where it currently is. It needs restructuring and trimming. Perhaps something like, "Haunted by past demons, a former addict struggles with the monotony of her new life."
The logline itself is clunky. The ‘haunted by the demon from her past’ does not fit where it currently is. It needs restructuring and trimming. Perhaps something like, “Haunted by past demons, a former addict struggles with the monotony of her new life.”
See less