1. Posted: October 9, 2020In:

    A sleep technician finds that his patient is dead while sleeping. He suspects that his boss, with past in the Russian security services, has deliberately did it and he is trying to frame him. He has until daytime to find what killed him before his shift ends and the police will be notified.

    Philippe Le Miere Logliner

    'sleep technician' = occupation Am visualising white middle-aged male character in white lab coat ... Character traits? Most scientists are introvert types, hard working, determined - think Dr Frankenstein. 'finds patient is dead while sleeping' = inciting incident What might the main character's reRead more

    ‘sleep technician’ = occupation
    Am visualising white middle-aged male character in white lab coat …
    Character traits? Most scientists are introvert types, hard working, determined – think Dr Frankenstein.

    ‘finds patient is dead while sleeping’ = inciting incident
    What might the main character’s relationship to the patient be?
    If female patient, then maybe lover? If child, then maybe son/daughter?
    Genre is promising drama, so lots of potential here for turning up the old archetypal emotions.

    “suspects boss has deliberately done it” = villain
    Theme might be institutional corruption. Admittedly many successful stories obscure villain’s motivation – think Dark Knight (2008) . It for example never really explains why the Joker runs around causing so much chaos in Gotham City – he’s just crazy, right! However a boss, financially responsible to a research division, would benefit from some motivational explanation. Greed, lust, envy, … choose your vice 😉

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  2. Posted: October 7, 2020In:

    James son of the king of the Tree-GLow Kingdom, is called to save the kingdom of a dragon. He has to defend it for his family and the kingdom fighting with the wisdom of the Esential Gems.

    Best Answer
    Ninann22 Logliner

    Hi, I like we’re you’re heading with the story. I get it’s a fantasy, and a kingdom that needs saved. However, there are some parts that are missing and hard to understand. After reading your summary it was a little clearer. This site has a Logline formula I recommend using or this helps me as well.Read more

    Hi,
    I like we’re you’re heading with the story. I get it’s a fantasy, and a kingdom that needs saved. However, there are some parts that are missing and hard to understand. After reading your summary it was a little clearer. This site has a Logline formula I recommend using or this helps me as well.
    Protagonist + inciting incident + central conflict + protagonist goal.
    Does not have to be in that exact order, but it ensures you get those main elements in the logline.
    Here is my example
    When a evil dragon threatens a kingdom, a skittish prince must defeat it before it gains ultimate power and destroy’s everything in its path.
    You want to simplify it and get to the point. Don’t use specific names. The rules or the backstory is not known so it has to understandable for everyone. See what works for you then go from there. I hope this helps. Keep up the hard work.

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  3. Posted: September 23, 2020In:

    After being bullied because of her autism, a misunderstood college student joins a secret sorority group of girls only to find out she has a kill a fellow student.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    The only movie that comes to my mind when I hear about a protagonist who MUST kill someone against their will is "The Killing of a Chinese Bookie" by John Cassavetes, where the killing was to balance a huge gambling dept to the mafia. What are the stakes in your story? She must kill a fellow studentRead more

    The only movie that comes to my mind when I hear about a protagonist who MUST kill someone against their will is “The Killing of a Chinese Bookie” by John Cassavetes, where the killing was to balance a huge gambling dept to the mafia.

    What are the stakes in your story? She must kill a fellow student or what? What’s stopping her from reporting the sorority as a crime organisation? Her autism? Is this realistic?

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