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It?s the late 1970?s in apartheid Sth Africa, when an intuitive 10yr old boy?s father is abducted, the family seek political asylum in Australia or face further persecution, the boy is determined to find his father and together with an unlikely ally, speaks to his dreams to find the answers before it?s too late.
In the apartheid era of South Africa, a ten year old boy must rescue his abducted father so the whole family can flee to Australia.(25 words)
In the apartheid era of South Africa, a ten year old boy must rescue his abducted father so the whole family can flee to Australia.
(25 words)
See lessAfter his father?s suicide, a drug-addicted son must defeat his only friend in a wakeboard contest to win the prize money and save his home.
I like dpg's second version as well.
I like dpg’s second version as well.
See lessA father seeks revenge on the internet troll who might have been responsible for his teenage son’s suicide.
Good re write, however it needs more structural work and trimming:"...To exact deadly retaliation?" = kill, no need to beat around the bush with this it's better to be clear in what he wants to achieve. I also find that killing the troll sounds a bit harsh, perhaps give him a more nobel goal such asRead more
Good re write, however it needs more structural work and trimming:
“…To exact deadly retaliation?” = kill, no need to beat around the bush with this it’s better to be clear in what he wants to achieve. I also find that killing the troll sounds a bit harsh, perhaps give him a more nobel goal such as preventing further deaths.
“…finds himself?” = a passive protagonist, no need to describe the mid act 2 reversal just his grand plot objective.
Here is a refined version:
See lessAfter his son commits suicide, ?a grieving father must pose as a teenage girl online in order to?catch the internet troll responsible for his son’s depression and stop him from hurting other children.