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After the death of a longtime friend, a man’s forgotten imagination is rekindled by his daughter.
After reading the short, I affirm that this needs to proceed with the daughter front and center. I believe she should be the main character who helps her father get over his friends tragic death. See the return notes that I sent you. While the short was well written and certainly a heart warming talRead more
After reading the short, I affirm that this needs to proceed with the daughter front and center. I believe she should be the main character who helps her father get over his friends tragic death. See the return notes that I sent you.
While the short was well written and certainly a heart warming tale, too much of it is on the imagination side, when the opportunity to have his daughter, who only appears in the 2nd half of the script, can be used to draw out this man’s grief after he finds out that his childhood friend, the one who he plays fake astronaut with, ?actually does become a real astronaut, yet dies on a space mission.
“A daughter helps her father to recreate his childhood moments and come to terms with his best friend’s tragic death.”
See lessAfter saving an mistreated puppy, a young doctor sets out forming new friendships, helping those in need.
I've got the setup: "When a young doctor finds a mistreated puppy" however, everything else is fluff that doesn't mean anything. Who's lives do they save, or what kind anyway, and why should I be interested? What do you actually mean by "forming friendships and living life to the fullest?" It's a goRead more
I’ve got the setup: “When a young doctor finds a mistreated puppy” however, everything else is fluff that doesn’t mean anything.
Who’s lives do they save, or what kind anyway, and why should I be interested?
What do you actually mean by “forming friendships and living life to the fullest?”
It’s a good setup. There are endless possibilities and directions you could take this story, but I would start with that setup, and then consider the story (conflict) you want to tell is.
See lessA recently deceased woman works as a bartender at a Waystation between life and death, helping lost souls confront their very real demons and earning a chance to return to Life – and the woman she loves.
Her unexpected death is the inciting incident, and therefore her goal is to get back to life but what's her main action? What must she do in order to get back to the woman she loves? Her action and the obstacles she faces will make her struggle interesting, otherwise it's am after life premise thatRead more
Her unexpected death is the inciting incident, and therefore her goal is to get back to life but what’s her main action? What must she do in order to get back to the woman she loves? Her action and the obstacles she faces will make her struggle interesting, otherwise it’s am after life premise that isn’t very original see The good Place and Drop Dead Diva as examples.
See less