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Tiger
The inciting incident in this logline is not clearly stated. Better write something like this: After the death of the tiger she was taking care of, a scared single mother has to tame an untamable tiger to save her job as a zookeeper. But to be honest, I don't see this objective goal as enough for aRead more
The inciting incident in this logline is not clearly stated. Better write something like this: After the death of the tiger she was taking care of, a scared single mother has to tame an untamable tiger to save her job as a zookeeper.
See lessBut to be honest, I don’t see this objective goal as enough for a whole story. What does taming exactly mean?
And why is she dependent on the job? Does she have debt or is it her favorite job?
When his mother dies in his arms, an insomniac paramedic abandons the scene of the car accident that claimed her to wander the city streets in search of his estranged siblings.
This is confusing to me, it sounds like this man leaves his dead mother and then just wanders aimlessly through the streets hoping to bump into estranged siblings. If that is not the story maybe try using the word after instead of when to separate the events with time.
This is confusing to me, it sounds like this man leaves his dead mother and then just wanders aimlessly through the streets hoping to bump into estranged siblings. If that is not the story maybe try using the word after instead of when to separate the events with time.
See lessRunning away from domestic violence in 1920s Oklahoma, a teenager encounters homelessness, alcoholism and drug addiction. Sent to prison, then declared insane, an encounter with a book changes his life
Maybe there is a descriptor that can be used to cover "homelessness, alcoholism and drug addiction" so that you don't have a laundry list, so to speak,? within your logline.
Maybe there is a descriptor that can be used to cover “homelessness, alcoholism and drug addiction” so that you don’t have a laundry list, so to speak,? within your logline.
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