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An intellectual farmer, escaping his rigid community whilst protecting his collapsing heritage, consorts with charismatic mystics whose growing fanaticism threatens his romantic relationship and farm, forcing him to oppose them and confront his alienation.
Goyonder:It is not insignificant that the central character in a plot is? called the protagonist.? Because the job of the central character is to move??proactively towards his objective goal.? Alas, the central character in your plot is a "reactionist" -- for the bulk of the story he seems to be reaRead more
Goyonder:
It is not insignificant that the central character in a plot is? called the protagonist.? Because the job of the central character is to move??proactively towards his objective goal.? Alas, the central character in your plot is a “reactionist” — for the bulk of the story he seems to be reacting to others and to his own negative feelings of alienation,.? I get the impression this he is casting about for an affirmative objective goal for the bulk of the 2nd Act when he should be pursuing one.
It seems to me that one of the defining characteristics of an objective goal is that it is affirmative.? ?That is the character, in effect,? says, “Yes,! This is what I want and I’m going after it”.?
But the farmer’s action line seems to be largely negative.? He’s saying, in effect: “No! This is not what I want.”
As a result of the inciting incident, what does he want to do?? What is his “Yes!” statement or intention?
If “finds kinship” is the inciting incident, that triggers main action line, the plot, “Oppose them” doesn’t qualify as his objective goal because it is negative, rather than affirmative. And it is reactive rather than proactive.? He’s responding to their “proactivity”, when they should be? reacting to his “proactivity”.?
And it is vague. We have no idea how he will oppose them.? And we have no idea what affirmative objective goal the foreigners are blocking him from achieving.
“Relinquish his ancestral land” is not an objective goal — it’s a denouement, an act of surrender rather than an achievement of success.? And “embrace his true identity” relates to his subjective need.? Subjective needs are a subtext to the script proper, but a logline concerns about the objective goal.
A logline needs to lay out an objective goal.? And defining characteristics of an objective goal are that is? proactive and it is also??affirmative. Proactive in that it is what the protagonist decides to do in spite of hostile circumstances and obstacles.? Affirmative in that he is saying, implicitly or explicitly, “Yes! This is what I want and I’m going to get it.”
fwiw
See lessthis hour long dramatic comedy will follow a Native American Indian who found refuge in the city that never sleeps after being exiled from her reservation not only due to her sexuality, but for having a child out of wedlock?
hello mii, your version trimmed to - "After being exiled from her reservation for having an illegitimate child, a Native American Indian finds refuge in NYC" I agree with savinh0-in that-this logline doesn't commit to plot-play but only sets a premise based on the Inciting event. There are a countleRead more
hello mii,
your version trimmed to –
“After being exiled from her reservation for having an illegitimate child, a Native American Indian finds refuge in NYC”
I agree with savinh0-in that-this logline doesn’t commit to plot-play but only sets a premise based on the Inciting event. There are a countless ways it could go from there.
The drama is clear, but where’s the comedy in trying to sustain oneself.
Who are the Act-II characters,
how does our protagonist relates with them-while holding true to “her need to settle”-might make way for your plot
one last question,
See lesswhy specifically a Native American Indian? because if it doesn’t contribute to the events ahead, you can always reduce it into “a foreigner…”
In a rural town, when a young, na?ve wife of an older, powerful cult leader becomes a secret prostitute, she discovers the town’s and cult’s dirty dark secrets that empower her to create a sex empire.
In the various iterations, I don't see a motivating inciting incident.? Becoming a prostitute is not a casual decision, certainly not a choice any "naive" woman would obviously, easily make.? What is the event that? pushed her over the edge, induced her to overcame her naivety and become a prostitutRead more
In the various iterations, I don’t see a motivating inciting incident.?
Becoming a prostitute is not a casual decision, certainly not a choice any “naive” woman would obviously, easily make.? What is the event that? pushed her over the edge, induced her to overcame her naivety and become a prostitute?
Also the main character is essentially an anti-hero.? She’s an amoral, opportunistic slut. There is no socially redeemable aspect to her motives, or her methods.? The psychological story hook is sexual voyeurism, not emotional empathy.
Anti-hero characters are tough to sell.? Not impossible, but tough.? Particularly when this fictional story must compete for attention in the real world where there are so many competing? and far more titillating opportunities for people to indulge their sexual voyeurism.
Just saying.
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