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  1. Posted: April 7, 2018In: Drama

    When a young priest that has impregnated a young immigrant Nun, he must defend her from his Church until legal proceedings stop his former Bishop from interfering in the raising of their child.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on April 7, 2018 at 2:24 pm

    "When the parish bishop assumes custody of their illegitimate child, a disgraced priest and the nun he impregnated must..."The problem is I am not sure what they 'must' do. What is their recourse?

    “When the parish bishop assumes custody of their illegitimate child, a disgraced priest and the nun he impregnated must…”

    The problem is I am not sure what they ‘must’ do. What is their recourse?

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  2. Posted: April 7, 2018In: Drama

    A self-centered, up-and-coming actor is about to have his once-in-a-lifetime ?big break? meeting with a control-freak star-director but his neurotic casual-girlfriend reveals that she?s pregnant, unplanned, certain he?s the father, potentially bringing everything he?s worked for crashing down, causing him to morally juggle his priorities.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 7, 2018 at 5:57 am

    Yes, the logline is too long.Still, I think there's a? kernel of a story here.? But I see it differently than how it is framed in the logline.? I think his subjective need is not to "morally juggle his priorities".? His subjective need is to overcome his character flaw , his egocentricity; he needsRead more

    Yes, the logline is too long.

    Still, I think there’s a? kernel of a story here.? But I see it differently than how it is framed in the logline.? I think his subjective need is not to “morally juggle his priorities”.? His subjective need is to overcome his character flaw , his egocentricity; he needs to? man up and assume the responsibilities, embrace the opportunities of fatherhood.

    But in loglines, the focus is on struggles for objective goals, not struggles with subjective problems.? And that is what the logline lacks.? Given his predicament, what is his objective goal?

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  3. Posted: April 6, 2018In: Drama

    When his own handgun is used to kill his partner, an unassuming detective defies the police department by refusing to carry a gun, even as he pursues the killer.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on April 6, 2018 at 10:40 am

    Agreed with DPG and Brennan. Why not make it so he carries the gun but can't use it - it never comes out of the holster. Like Brennan wrote, he would have to either investigate the murder on the sly or take a leave of absence, but my problem is that this well and truly falls into the cliche side ofRead more

    Agreed with DPG and Brennan.

    Why not make it so he carries the gun but can’t use it – it never comes out of the holster.

    Like Brennan wrote, he would have to either investigate the murder on the sly or take a leave of absence, but my problem is that this well and truly falls into the cliche side of things.
    Is there an interesting twist you’re saving up your proverbial sleeve?

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