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  1. Posted: April 17, 2018In: Drama

    To save her relationship, a woman must finally confront her Father who sexually abused her for years.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 19, 2018 at 1:09 pm

    lz:With your revision, your story has hooked my interest.? It's certainly a topical issue in the context of the #MeToo movement.? And it concerns the most pervasive dirty little secret of family life.However:"In order to save her relationship" tells us what the stakes are, but, alas, doesn't constitRead more

    lz:

    With your revision, your story has hooked my interest.? It’s certainly a topical issue in the context of the #MeToo movement.? And it concerns the most pervasive dirty little secret of family life.

    However:

    “In order to save her relationship” tells us what the stakes are, but, alas, doesn’t constitute an inciting incident.? What triggers the situation that puts her relationship in jeopardy?

    Here’s a suggestion for your consideration:? What if the inciting incident is her forthcoming marriage? No sooner has she said “I will” to his marriage proposal than she starts having PTSD symptoms: nightmares, etc.? And whereas they had a lively sex life before then engagement, now she goes frigid, has panic attacks whenever he makes a seductive overture.

    Why?? Because of the prospect of being given away by her father on her wedding day.? The fact that he gladly agrees to footing the bill for the wedding — no expense to be spared, only the best for his daughter — is no source of consolation or reconciliation.

    Inserting a wedding? date into the plot also embeds a ticking clock? that heightens dramatic tension and urgency:? she MUST resolve her past before she can go through with the wedding and she has only so much time to do it.

    Best wishes with your writing.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: April 17, 2018In: Drama

    Three days before Armageddon,a drug addicted lawyer must survive an army of demons who wish to drag everyone to hell .

    Valentin Samurai
    Added an answer on April 18, 2018 at 1:06 am

    Theee days before the prophetised rapture, an atheist, materialistic lawyer must battle an army of demons that tries to drag everybody to Hell. The Rapture is the word to describe the end time event when all Christians believers _living and dead_ will rise into the sky and join Christ. Make more senRead more

    Theee days before the prophetised rapture, an atheist, materialistic lawyer must battle an army of demons that tries to drag everybody to Hell.

    The Rapture is the word to describe the end time event when all Christians believers _living and dead_ will rise into the sky and join Christ. Make more sense to have the demons attacking before the Rapture than Armaggedon, trying to get more souls than anticipated.
    Funny to have an atheist, materialistic lawyer having to battle an army of demons.

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  3. Posted: April 15, 2018In: Drama

    An opinionated former cult-member must convince his equally-opinionated family to leave the same cult before they commit the ultimate sacrifice – themselves. TITLE: Born to Die

    Best Answer
    Valentin Samurai
    Added an answer on April 18, 2018 at 12:54 am

    When a comet appears in the sky on the date prophetised by a doomsday cult, a former member has a week to rescue his family before they all commit mass suicide.

    When a comet appears in the sky on the date prophetised by a doomsday cult, a former member has a week to rescue his family before they all commit mass suicide.

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