1. Posted: November 16, 2018In:

    Living in poverty, a neglected boy discovers the power of his imagination through reading but struggles to escape the harsh realities of his abuse.

    Best Answer
    Meek Penpusher

    Thanks all! The feedback has made me realise my "why" in the story is pretty weak.? I have an ending in my head, and the concept so far gets me there. But,?as Richiev points out, I find myself juggling many themes to get there. Lots to think about...

    Thanks all!

    The feedback has made me realise my “why” in the story is pretty weak.? I have an ending in my head, and the concept so far gets me there. But,?as Richiev points out, I find myself juggling many themes to get there.

    Lots to think about…
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  2. Posted: November 12, 2018In:

    When a cold hearted engineer leaves his visually impaired brother in the middle of a hiking trail, he must plan his escape or die alone in the wilderness.

    Mike Pedley Singularity

    As Richiev pointed out, it needs to be clarified who the lead character is. If it's the visually impaired brother (which it should be) then write the inciting incident from his view point e.g. When he's abandoned by his brother... etc. We don't need to know the brother is cold-hearted - that's fairlRead more

    As Richiev pointed out, it needs to be clarified who the lead character is. If it’s the visually impaired brother (which it should be) then write the inciting incident from his view point e.g. When he’s abandoned by his brother… etc.

    We don’t need to know the brother is cold-hearted – that’s fairly apparent. It also doesn’t matter that he’s an engineer. It would be better to put something in that hints at his reason why.

    The goal “plan his escape or die alone in the wilderness” is a bit weird to me. Planning happens inside someone’s head for a start, think more visually. But also I’m not sure you can “escape the wilderness” as such. ?The goal is to get back to civilisation in one piece. Simple!?I’ve gotta ask though, he’s on a hiking trail…? Why can’t he just turn around and follow it back? He’s not blind so I’m assuming he has some sight… I wonder if the stakes need to be upped. He’s blind or he’s not on a hiking trail is the simple answer. What’s the story you’re trying to tell here? One about the strength of the human spirit in impossible situations or one about a family relationship?

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  3. Posted: November 9, 2018In:

    TRIANGLE DANGEREUX — After a French female painter uses a time portal to successfully sell her cubist self portret at the Salon des Refus?s,1886, she convinces a rejected Van Gogh she’ll be his muze if he kills her made rich – double crossing – artdealing twin sister.

    dpg Singularity

    >But still their should be clear forces ? I would say ? against THEMThere? are no shortage of obstacles to her becoming his muse.? (Read some biographies.) Beginning with Van Gogh's personality.? He was not an easy guy to be around.? Ask Paul Gauguin! And then there are the psychological problemsRead more

    >But still their should be clear forces ? I would say ? against THEM

    There? are no shortage of obstacles to her becoming his muse.? (Read some biographies.) Beginning with Van Gogh’s personality.? He was not an easy guy to be around.? Ask Paul Gauguin! And then there are the psychological problems that plagued him.? He was probably bipolar — and there were no drugs to modulate mood swings in those days.

    And his brother Theo (and his wife) could object to her interfering in his life.? (And Theo has his own health problems that complicates his relationship with his brother:? he’s dying of syphilis.)

    If her objective goal is to prevent his suicide, it immediately makes her a sympathetic and selfless character.? In start contrast to the one? you have cast for the original concept.

    Of course, she must fail despite her best efforts and good intentions.? But a tragic ending only elevates the emotional impact.? What makes Romeo & Juliet such a great play is that they are star-crossed lovers, their marriage is doomed.? Had Shakespeare written a happy ending,? I seriously doubt the the play would be reckoned as one of the greatest romances.

    Another movie about Van Gogh is about to be released,? “At Eternity’s Gate”, btw, which indicates the enduring fascination with the Van Gogh and his struggles to make his art.

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