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When the wise Chancellor of Thilikos – a matriarchal desert city,- dies unexpectedly, Indigo is thrust into the new role and must find a way to secure her country?s continued existence despite impending war, a global virus epidemic and rebellion by the Council and her citizens.
It wold be be better to drop the names and concentrate on roles and traits. E.g.: When the ruler of a matriarchal desert city dies unexpectedly, [her daughter] must take over and secure her country?s continued existence despite impending war, a global virus epidemic and rebellion by the Council andRead more
It wold be be better to drop the names and concentrate on roles and traits.
E.g.:
When the ruler of a matriarchal desert city dies unexpectedly, [her daughter] must take over and secure her country?s continued existence despite impending war, a global virus epidemic and rebellion by the Council and her citizens.
See lessJacob Foster is a lone traveler, he escaped home when he was 18 and hasn’t stopped moving since, however when he receives a message that his mother has fallen fatally ill, he must decide whether he can confront the haunting memories of his childhood.
Here are two slightly different attempts. -------------------------------------------------- "When he receives a message that his mother is fatally ill, a loner with an abusive childhood reluctantly returns home to take care of his mother while congfronting the ghosts from his past." "When he receivRead more
Here are two slightly different attempts.
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“When he receives a message that his mother is fatally ill, a loner with an abusive childhood reluctantly returns home to take care of his mother while congfronting the ghosts from his past.”
“When he receives a message that his mother is fatally ill, a loner with an abusive childhood reluctantly returns home to take care of his mother while also having to deal with his drunk and abusive father”
See lessAfter years of watching from the wings, a determined young artist sets out to make her place on the world?s stage..
I agree with the others! Keep the word ?wallflower.? While I understand the idea of keeping some of the plot under-wraps to keep a sense of surprise, you still need to include the catalyst/inciting incident. Why now? Why do they want to make their mark on the world stage now? What happened to causeRead more
I agree with the others! Keep the word ?wallflower.? While I understand the idea of keeping some of the plot under-wraps to keep a sense of surprise, you still need to include the catalyst/inciting incident. Why now? Why do they want to make their mark on the world stage now? What happened to cause them to want to make their mark? That may suffice.
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