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An ageing married couple teetering on the brink of bankruptcy attempt to stop their farm being repossessed by holding a cynical mortgage field-agent hostage at gunpoint.
What happens next? This, to me, is simply the inciting incident so we need to know what either the married couple do next or what the field-agent does next. The alternative is that the whole "gunpoint" bit is actually where they end up in act III. If that's the case then we need to know more about wRead more
What happens next? This, to me, is simply the inciting incident so we need to know what either the married couple do next or what the field-agent does next.
The alternative is that the whole “gunpoint” bit is actually where they end up in act III. If that’s the case then we need to know more about what happens before that.
When a mortgage field-agent threatens to repossess their farm, an ageing married couple must…..
And then tell us what they must do to stop this happening.
Hope this helps.
See lessAfter she recovers photographs of her spouse raping her, a respected lawyer battles for justice to transform South Carolina?s viewpoints on marital rape.
First of all, I second what dpg says: changing viewpoint is not what lawyers fight for. She needs to change the system. The law itself. I don't understand the inciting incident. Recover from whom? If her husband has raped her once, recovering the photographs does not sound like a strong enough incitRead more
First of all, I second what dpg says: changing viewpoint is not what lawyers fight for. She needs to change the system. The law itself.
I don’t understand the inciting incident. Recover from whom? If her husband has raped her once, recovering the photographs does not sound like a strong enough inciting incident. The rape itself sounds like an inciting incident.
On the other hand, if her husband has been raping her for years, what is it that pushes her into defending herself now? Again, recovering some evidence is not an inciting incident, but part of the defense.
Finally, why have the lawyer and the victim be the same person? Consider splitting them into two characters. I have a hunch that this would create a more interesting cast.
See lessAfter her fifteen-year-old daughter commits suicide, an African American woman sets out to spread awareness surrounding mental health within her culture, where it?s an unspoken misconception.
It's a captivating drama premise. It would help to have: A more clearly defined goal: does she fight for a law to pass? Does she have to convince a specific person in power? How do we know by the end of the film that she has succeeded or failed? More clearly defined antagonism. Can you personify theRead more
It’s a captivating drama premise. It would help to have:
A more clearly defined goal: does she fight for a law to pass? Does she have to convince a specific person in power? How do we know by the end of the film that she has succeeded or failed?
More clearly defined antagonism. Can you personify the forces of antagonism? Who is the ambassador of her cultural traditions which resist the idea of mental health? Her minister? The mayor? Her father? A friend whose kid experiences psychosis?
What is the actual traditional belief? Unspoken misconception is too vague. Do they believe that mentally ill people are possessed by demons or what?
A hint of inner journey. Is she a person who grows or does she only help others grow? Whom?
Does location setting play a part? I feel it somehow does. The question to ask is: where would a black woman’s voice be more easily and painfully choked upon speaking on such matters as mental health?
Have a good writing!
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