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  1. Posted: August 26, 2019In: Drama

    A paranoid and neurotic playwright struggling to finish his magnum opus receives mysterious envelopes in the mail containing pages that he hasn’t written yet.

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on August 28, 2019 at 5:08 pm

    And then what happens? A lot of your loglines have a really nice premise that I can see working into a good story but they only cover as far as the inciting incident. We NEED to know what happens next. Use the generator to help out with this. It's really easy to use and, even if you don't use the onRead more

    And then what happens?

    A lot of your loglines have a really nice premise that I can see working into a good story but they only cover as far as the inciting incident. We NEED to know what happens next.

    Use the generator to help out with this. It’s really easy to use and, even if you don’t use the one it creates, it helps you to understand all the elements better.

     

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  2. Posted: August 19, 2019In: Drama

    When the local mining company brings in external workers, the town of Hope apathetically slides towards its death. Slut-shamed 17-year-old schoolgirl, Tim, challenges the locals, the politicians,?and the mining billionaires into establishing a renewable energy business, in a frantic effort to save the town – and herself.

    Disruptive Logliner
    Added an answer on August 26, 2019 at 11:22 am

    Thank you again. You are both quite right. I will go back to the original premise and look at more of your examples of loglines.  

    Thank you again. You are both quite right. I will go back to the original premise and look at more of your examples of loglines.

     

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  3. Posted: August 25, 2019In: Drama

    After a zombie apocalypse occurs, which wipes out most of humanity, we see the lives and times of the Simmons family, through three different perspectives through time as everyone seems to die around Jack Simmons.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai
    Added an answer on August 25, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    The moment we read "we see the..." especially followed by "lives and times" we indeed get the impression of reading a pitch for a TV show. It is too loose. Even if it were a TV show, you would still need to supply some tight plot premise. Also, omit any names. Instead, write a couple of words aboutRead more

    The moment we read “we see the…” especially followed by “lives and times” we indeed get the impression of reading a pitch for a TV show. It is too loose. Even if it were a TV show, you would still need to supply some tight plot premise.

    Also, omit any names. Instead, write a couple of words about what the character’s psychology is about.

    I see that your premise is that people die around the main character. This doesn’t look like an important event, though, in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. That’s a part of the zombie (or horror) film convention: people die (and rise) all the time around everybody?especially the main character.

    Unless it’s a comedy and the main character is an narcissist/egomaniac who thinks that everything revolves AROUND and happens TO him. But I don’t think this is your intention.

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