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When a top assassin falls for her latest target, she must switch from killer to bodyguard to stay alive long enough to turn the tables.
I was unsure how much value I'd get from a review of a logline, but this is great! All really valid and insightful points being made. Thanks everyone. The more I develop the story, the more I veer away from comedy and stray into action with romance. Romaction?!? But comedy, in my humble opinion, isRead more
I was unsure how much value I’d get from a review of a logline, but this is great! All really valid and insightful points being made. Thanks everyone.
The more I develop the story, the more I veer away from comedy and stray into action with romance. Romaction?!? But comedy, in my humble opinion, is spawned from conflict. It is the trichotomy of two well defined characters in a strange situation and how the dynamics play off each other. This story has plenty of that so there’s great scope for comedy, as long as it’s not too dark what with all the killin’!!
dpg – Great points. In my head, and I’ve obviously not put this onto the comments here in depth, is that she switches to keeping him alive not because she falls in love with him by the end of Act 1, but because of why he has a price on his head in the first place. That meshes with her character driving force. She certainly enjoys his company, they get on well with each other, but she doesn’t notice the growing love until the end of Act 2b when she believes him to be dead (spoiler, he’s not!).
See lessA dutiful grandson and his eccentric Greek grandmother begin stealing from the local community in an effort to start their own corrupt chicken farm in their backyard. Things gets a little crazy when people begin to notice their illegal efforts.
I would suggest you study how to write logline, because you have good concept but poor loglines. Click on the link Our Formula to see the ingredient of a good logline.
I would suggest you study how to write logline, because you have good concept but poor loglines.
See lessClick on the link Our Formula to see the ingredient of a good logline.
When his apartment block is raided by mobsters, an angsty teen discovers that his boring parents were once hit-men of the Yakuza and so he must learn their old ways to defend himself against the violent thugs, who are lead by his estranged Uncle, if he hopes to escape with his life.
I think Nettle's version is an improvement.>>discovers that his boring parents were once hit-men of the YakuzaThat's? backstory, what the protagonist finds out AFTER the inciting incident. But a? logline focuses on the story looking forward, not on the story looking backwards.
I think Nettle’s version is an improvement.
>>discovers that his boring parents were once hit-men of the Yakuza
That’s? backstory, what the protagonist finds out AFTER the inciting incident. But a? logline focuses on the story looking forward, not on the story looking backwards.
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