1. Posted: June 4, 2018In:

    The personal, political and (un)professional life of Julie, a plucky twenty-something, determined to buy her own house.

    TullyArcher Samurai

    ...okay. And?

    …okay. And?

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  2. Posted: June 7, 2018In:

    Documentary filmmaker Ted Riley is hot on the trail of the phenomenon that?s sweeping the city of Bakersfield. In the vein of “Robin Hood” a father and his pre-teen sons make a living from stealing from second hand shops and selling the goods at a more reasonable price at various swap meets in their local area.? Petty crooks or men with a mission? Ted Riley seeks that answer as he captures a raw and voyeuristic look into one of Bakersfield’s most notorious crime families.?

    TullyArcher Samurai

    This is a blurb, not a logline, and you haven't given us stakes or an emotional "why" or even a clear goal and I don't understand why they'd steal from second hand shops, which are also trying to help poor people.

    This is a blurb, not a logline, and you haven’t given us stakes or an emotional “why” or even a clear goal and I don’t understand why they’d steal from second hand shops, which are also trying to help poor people.

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  3. Posted: June 7, 2018In:

    Down on his luck Security Guard Brooklyn Merewether?s day isn?t off to a good start but things are about to change as he saves the life of someone who has the power to make his existence a bit more enjoyable, a bit more tolerable, actually a lot damn better… he saves Cupid.

    TullyArcher Samurai

    This says nothing about what HAPPENS in this movie. No stakes, no goals, nothing. For all you've told us, he saves Cupid and Cupid says thank you and gets back to what he was doing and that's the end of it.

    This says nothing about what HAPPENS in this movie. No stakes, no goals, nothing. For all you’ve told us, he saves Cupid and Cupid says thank you and gets back to what he was doing and that’s the end of it.

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