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When her mother goes into rehab, the 16 year old girl must go with her father, a country singer, who is temporarily released from jail to do a tour.
>>>When a teenage ballet dancer goes on tour with her country singer father she barely knows, she must save him from getting killed as he?s a witness in a murder case.1] This is a comedy?2] She barely knows him -- but she knows he's a witness in a murder case?? And she knows the bad guys whRead more
>>>When a teenage ballet dancer goes on tour with her country singer father she barely knows, she must save him from getting killed as he?s a witness in a murder case.
1] This is a comedy?
2] She barely knows him — but she knows he’s a witness in a murder case?? And she knows the bad guys who are out to kill him?
3] For the purpose of? plot and? logline, how does being a ballet dancer enable her to save him? With?a karate version of a grand jet??? A defining characteristic of a character should be relevant to the plot problem.? That she is a ballet dancer seems extraneous.
4]? The story has gone through several versions –what is the common core, the overarching theme?? ?(I get the impression of a situation in search of a plot.)
fwiw
See lessWhen twin sisters contest to get young rich person, they face chaotic life.
Still not sure what the inciting incident is that kicks off the plot.? Whatever it is, it should upset the status quo. If the status quo is that their relationship is? conflicted from the git go because they were raised separately, then tossing a love interest into the mix doesn't really upset the sRead more
Still not sure what the inciting incident is that kicks off the plot.? Whatever it is, it should upset the status quo.
If the status quo is that their relationship is? conflicted from the git go because they were raised separately, then tossing a love interest into the mix doesn’t really upset the status quo.? Rather, it just intensifies an already conflicted relationship, makes a bad situation worse.
So, it is more dramatically interesting if the status quo is that initially the relationship between the twins is harmonious.? And then introduce the love interest that upsets that status quo, creates discord and conflict between the two,
fwiw
See lessA na?ve college graduate makes a wish to a shooting star that he could get any job he wanted and finds that the next day; no matter where is, what he wears and how he feels, people (including employees) assume he works there. He uses this strange new curse to infiltrate a UN meeting and try to trick the world leaders into agreeing to World Peace.
The logic of the logline seems disjunctive, muddled. The setup is that he wishes to get any job he wants.? Okay, so why is he being mistakenly confused as an employee in all kinds of jobs he doesn't want or at least has no interest in?What is the singular objective goal that drives the plot?? The plRead more
The logic of the logline seems disjunctive, muddled. The setup is that he wishes to get any job he wants.? Okay, so why is he being mistakenly confused as an employee in all kinds of jobs he doesn’t want or at least has no interest in?
What is the singular objective goal that drives the plot?? The plot seems to jump the rails from getting the job he wants to tricking others into world peace.? What is the dramatically logical leap from making a wish for himself to trying to trick others into world peace??
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