Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
  • Buy Feedback
  • Blog
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • The Logline Generator
  • Search Loglines
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Blog
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
  • Buy Feedback
  • Blog
  • Recent Loglines
  • Most Answered
  • Reviews
  • Feedback Wanted
  • Most Visited
  • Most Voted
  • Random
  1. Posted: January 8, 2019In: Comedy

    When a humble bingo floor clerk discovers ability to predict Powerball lotto winning numbers, she must fight her family’s deadly urge to get rich quick.

    Best Answer
    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on January 8, 2019 at 11:42 pm

    "When a humble bingo floor clerk discovers ability to predict Powerball lotto winning numbers, she must fight her family?s deadly urge to get rich quick." I agree with mikepedley85's review. Here's a breakdown from my understanding: Inciting incident: "discovers ability to predict Powerball lotto wiRead more

    “When a humble bingo floor clerk discovers ability to predict Powerball lotto winning numbers, she must fight her family?s deadly urge to get rich quick.”

    I agree with mikepedley85’s review. Here’s a breakdown from my understanding:

    Inciting incident: “discovers ability to predict Powerball lotto winning numbers” —-> Agree with mikepedley85’s suggestion.

    Protagonist: “a humble bingo floor clerk” —-> Being a bingo floor clerk may have significance in the story, but it doesn’t seem necessary in the logline. Is there a shorter way to include this?? You mentioned that you intend ‘humble’ to mean poor, but I feel as though other than stating her financial status, it doesn’t tell us what kind of personality she has, and that can be used to hint at how her personality affects the story.

    Goal: “he must fight her family?s deadly urge to get rich quick.” —-> This should be changed to a specific, visual description of an objective goal. Think of the climax. At that point, what will she be trying to accomplish?

    Antagonist: From the logline, it reads as though it’s her family. But in your comment you mention an outside group who tries to kill her, since that part isn’t in the logline I can’t assess it.

    I suggest considering these above elements for your revisions.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  2. Posted: January 5, 2019In: Comedy

    Is it interesting? For non climbing audience

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on January 7, 2019 at 9:18 pm

    The best way to ensure that audiences will get on board, as Nir has pointed out, is to make it about the struggle. There are a lot of films that focus on mankind's struggle against unbelievable odds - Everest, 127 Hours, Touching the Void, Cast Away, Life of Pi, etc. etc. Usually, it's not that impoRead more

    The best way to ensure that audiences will get on board, as Nir has pointed out, is to make it about the struggle. There are a lot of films that focus on mankind’s struggle against unbelievable odds – Everest, 127 Hours, Touching the Void, Cast Away, Life of Pi, etc. etc. Usually, it’s not that important what the circumstances but the stakes have to be high – it’s about survival. The kid in your story can’t just choose to learn how to ice climb and find it difficult – he can quit at any time. Instead consider putting him in a situation where he has no choice because his life depends on it. A lot of the movies mentioned take experienced people as a means of highlighting the extremes – even the best of the best are struggling. So another option for you is to make him an experienced climber doing something that pushes him to his limit and beyond – maybe the protagonist is the veteran who has to go rescue the inexperienced guy like in Everest? Or he finds himself stuck somewhere like Touching the Void?

    The other thing you could consider to help with marketing is include a location that even the average film-watcher has heard of. ?The Eiger, Everest, K2, etc, etc. By giving us a familiar name we immediately know the risks.

    The most important thing for this kind of story though, in my opinion, is the stakes. He can’t have the option of turning back and his life has to be on the line. Get busy living or get busy dying!

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: December 25, 2018In: Comedy

    A Facebook friend request, changes the life of a man undergoing mid life crisis, as he discovers, his former best friend, is a hitman.

    mrliteral Samurai
    Added an answer on January 2, 2019 at 3:26 am

    WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COMMAS? Seriously just write it as a single sentence with no commas and see how much better it sounds. A good logline shouldn't have any pauses anyway, but this isn't even good English...

    WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COMMAS?

    Seriously just write it as a single sentence with no commas and see how much better it sounds. A good logline shouldn’t have any pauses anyway, but this isn’t even good English…

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp

Sidebar

Stats

  • Loglines 8,027
  • Reviews 32,212
  • Best Reviews 629
  • Users 3,806

Try the Logline Generator

aalan

Explore

  • Signup
  • The Logline Generator
  • Search Loglines
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Blog

Footer

© 2012–2026 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.