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After peeing on a stick, an aging party girl who has it all: the fiance, the house, the job .. and the crippling anxiety ? must decide if she?s ?old enough? to have her baby.
I like the idea of a woman faced with an inciting incident that forces her to must finally start acting her age.? However, I would like one more clarification.? When you say she's "aging" -- approximately what age do you have in mind?? Mid 30's, on the cusp of 40... or?? I think that needs to be madRead more
I like the idea of a woman faced with an inciting incident that forces her to must finally start acting her age.? However, I would like one more clarification.? When you say she’s “aging” — approximately what age do you have in mind?? Mid 30’s, on the cusp of 40… or?? I think that needs to be made a little more specific because it seems to be a important story element.
See lessAn aging party girl has it all: the fianc?, the house, the job.. and the crippling anxiety. Now she?s hiding a surprise pregnancy in order to get to know her bully mum, and if she has what it takes to be a better parent.
The first sentence is all setting and can be condensed to: "a woman with crippling anxiety".The second part I don't understand. How does hiding the pregnancy help her to get to know her mother? Wouldn't it be the other way around, the pregnancy brings them closer together?The final goal, wanting toRead more
The first sentence is all setting and can be condensed to: “a woman with crippling anxiety”.
The second part I don’t understand. How does hiding the pregnancy help her to get to know her mother? Wouldn’t it be the other way around, the pregnancy brings them closer together?
The final goal, wanting to be a better parent, is admirable, but a bit weak on the dramatic side. (We don’t know how well we do as parents until our kids are twenty-five and living on their own.) Is there one particular thing that her mother did that she hated as a child and she wants to understand why her mother did it? The more concrete you make the goal, the better the logline.
See lessThree nerdy high-school students time travel back to 1940s Queens in attempt to stop future President of the United States Donald Trump from being born.
You should give your story an unexpected twist: "After they travel back in time and stop Trump from being born, three nerdy highschool students must set things aright when the new future turns out to be a dystopian nightmare."
You should give your story an unexpected twist:
“After they travel back in time and stop Trump from being born, three nerdy highschool students must set things aright when the new future turns out to be a dystopian nightmare.”
See less