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When Mads is released from prison, his greatest desire is to come out and be a father to his 10-year-old daughter, whom he has not seen for 3 years, but when he finds out she is deadly ill and the mother forbids him to see her , he dresses up like a hospital clown to have an opportunity to be something for his daughter before she dies.
So an ex-con can show up in cognito in a clown costume and not have to be vetted by a standard security background check before he can have regular access to amuse sick kids?And a story about parents feuding over a kid whose doomed to die is a comedy?
So an ex-con can show up in cognito in a clown costume and not have to be vetted by a standard security background check before he can have regular access to amuse sick kids?
And a story about parents feuding over a kid whose doomed to die is a comedy?
See lessA disgraced winemaker sets out to exact revenge on the farmer he thinks sold him poisoned grapes.
As nicolesigaud has pointed out, there is no inciting incident in this version. Add the inciting inciting incident here and it's a step in the right direction. The inciting incident from your previous attempt: "When his celebrity drinkers die" played for comedy value could work really nicely. The onRead more
As nicolesigaud has pointed out, there is no inciting incident in this version. Add the inciting inciting incident here and it’s a step in the right direction.
The inciting incident from your previous attempt: “When his celebrity drinkers die” played for comedy value could work really nicely. The only thing I would suggest is to up the stakes:
When he’s accused of manslaughter after an A-list celebrity dies, a disgraced winemaker plots his revenge on the farmer he believes sold him poisoned grapes.
I like the addition of the police aspect because it adds a subplot and additional antagonistic elements that could be fun exploring. It also increases the motivation for the protagonist – not only is he trying to clear his name, he’s trying to stay out of jail.
Out of curiosity, did the farmer sell him poisoned grapes? If so, why?
See lessA renowned? but snobby food critic finds himself trapped in a Michelin star restaurant after a snowstorm with the volatile French chef whose previous establishment closed down due to a scathing review he wrote.
I like the premise! It has the conflict and comedic potential. I agree with the comments about it needing a hint about what kind of comedy it is. Is it going to be dark or light hearted? The script can keep us guessing, but the logline should tell us exactly what we are getting. Keep at it!
I like the premise! It has the conflict and comedic potential. I agree with the comments about it needing a hint about what kind of comedy it is. Is it going to be dark or light hearted? The script can keep us guessing, but the logline should tell us exactly what we are getting. Keep at it!
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